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The Salesman.

Submitted by vandiemenspeak on Tue, 2022-08-09 07:19

One day at a house not far from here,
I met a man selling dark voices,
Not smitten with this patter noise,
I thought, no matter, you have a choice,

As all things in the business of being do,
If not, then what business are you here to do?

Return young Murrah’s Stephen, John, and Phil
Find in the long past, the business, that you,
Were to do, and willed,
All of those places, some pleasant, some not
Found all you poor souls, and sensed a new agent,
Sensed a new rot
Where did you all go in such haste?
Don’t fester, festina lente!
Find me here in the divine waste,
Or in in mountains, coldly free,

Waiting, patiently to see.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
Murrah (like Muckah) is a Romany. Gypsie word, which in Newark meant "Man" "Bloke" or "Donkey" take your pick. The salesmen, well, they were everywhere, and not necessarily Romany. Thanks for taking a look.
Editing stage: 
Editing - draft
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Obadiah Grey

Tue, 2022-08-09 13:27

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Well, I'll plump for "Bloke" and "Muckha",
though, I have (as do most folk) a soft spot for "Donkeys".
I love the notion of dark voices in a divine waste!
and the finality of the mountains, coldly free.

My interpretation is this,
some *ahem* Geezer floging Jesus to the undecided/gullible.
Or, the dispersion of the romany way.

loved this.
Obi.

Geezer

Tue, 2022-08-09 16:47

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with that flogging Jesus stuff! I ain't never flogged anyone yet! I've sliced a few up and served them FOR dinner, but
flogging? LoL I think you mean to praise Jesus? I'm neither a flogger nor a praiser. I am ambivalent about religion. Only practicing the usual superstitions, gained from my family background; like don't walk under ladders, seven years bad luck for breaking a mirror, etc. I loved this too, by the way. Interesting thought, selling dark voices. I don't know as I would change a thing. ~ Geez.
.

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Obadiah Grey

Sat, 2022-08-20 14:04

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Hiya, Geez.

Here is an interesting root to your moniker.

"The origin of geezer is an interesting one. It appears to derive from the now obsolete term guiser, meaning someone who walks around in disguise, a performer in a masquerade. So a word that was used in the Middle Ages to refer to mummers (actors in traditional plays without words) has now simply come to mean bloke."

What is your take on the word?

Obi.

Geezer

Sat, 2022-08-20 17:31

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Going to reply in the more modern terms of what this word means, and how I come to use the moniker. My name in French
[Guy] is pronounced Gee. I worked with a couple of Frenchmen in my days as an auto-detailer. They referred to me as Gee, after asking if I knew that was the French pronunciation. I assured them I did and that I had some French heritage; whereupon
they also asked if I spoke any French. "No, I took French in the third grade, and right after finding out that I would be called Gee, dropped it!" I was also the oldest one at the shop and someone said that the name should be "Geezer" as I was the oldest one and elder gentlemen were commonly referred to as Old Geezers. When I needed a penname, I decided that
Geezer fit me well and here I am! ~ Geezer.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

vandiemenspeak

Sat, 2022-08-20 09:44

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Not far off the mark there. Romany slang was a big part of early Gypsie encampments, one of which was in my home town. Obscure references for those outside, I do realise. But I liked the sound. And it's fun to dig into that old ground.
Thanks,
Chris.

Chris Hall - Tasmania

Grossbooted draymen rolled barrels dullthudding out of Prince's stores and bumped them up on the brewery float. On the brewery float bumped dullthudding barrels rolled by grossbooted draymen out of Prince's stores.

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Candlewitch

Tue, 2022-08-09 13:10

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I really like how you ended this poem.

*always, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

vandiemenspeak

Sat, 2022-08-20 09:48

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I started to reply to your other message, but the intermangleweb destroyed my response. Thanks for reading, and I appreciate that you liked the ending.

Take care
Chris.

Chris Hall - Tasmania

Grossbooted draymen rolled barrels dullthudding out of Prince's stores and bumped them up on the brewery float. On the brewery float bumped dullthudding barrels rolled by grossbooted draymen out of Prince's stores.

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