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Remember London?

I love London
I love London
with you
by neon

It's where we
fell in love
not lust
but lust
enough to trust
in two

The falling-in
over delicate patisserie
gilded by snowy sucre
sliding off Fortnum & Mason platery
sticky fingers

The kiss-
Oxford Street
tumbling masses
oblivious to
suave tweed
lapel livery
like a Dior poster boy

The 'take me now'-
in front of plate glass
like an aquarium
fishes no longer swimming
all lined up for sale
gleaming to attention

It was a 'Poissionniere'
after all
now I shall never
swim away from
mon beau chere

Editing stage: 


' trust
in two'
the rhyme of trust and lust seemed to break the spell you created in S1, also the rhyme of 'with you' with 'two'

The rest of the poem I really liked,
My only crit is the very short lines at times hindered comprehension,eg 'smelling like a Dior Poster Boy' see no reason to break this up into 2 lines.

Also suggest you use advanced formatting so you can put french words, in italics.' and include accents.

fumbling, tumbling--- like this rhyme as its subtle, also words have sexy connotations

the plate glass shop fronts being like an aquarium , yes but 'the fishe(s) no longer swimming' didn't work for me needed some clue as to what the image referred to.

'Poissionniere' neat pun

I liked the sophistication of this, took me there.

a̒ bientȏt

Have tweeked the lines...i'm glad you liked the subtle sophistication! I met my husband in London on a date...we went to Fortnum & Mason for a very genteel afternoon tea...ended catching the last trains home, not before having a really enjoyable 'snog' in front of a very high class wet fish shop!

'Betty' aka Ellie

author comment

using Windows go to
Insert>Symbols>More Symbols> combining diacritical marks
to find the grave and circumflex and acute
a hassle but it saves them for you
copy and paste
I was showing off, don't know much french, like reading music, I pretend to.

glasswares...the worlds beyond our reflection
and the glamour in lights

shopping in windows
with a soul
with a love

its a wonderful world
when Lonliness is banished
and the shadows abate

It was the reflection of my husbands head as he was about to kiss me, made my stomach flip...the split-second ignite of a profound feeling...and I could see it in the window, reflected back at me with rows of silvery fish for sale...

We go back to London on that date every year...

author comment

Definitely not Fish & Chips,
I felt and saw the perfumes of London in this piece,
and the falling-in-love in its recipe
was great fun to be witness to;
Although fine in itself, I wouldn't have minded if it could have been a little bit longer,
as its spiciness was seductive.

I was glad Ross mentioned the spelling of French,
it had to be right if its used at all, n'est pas?

Love Ann.

"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan. fish & chip date! That's not to say, we didn't have them on another one though...sitting by a wall overlooking s sunset on the east coast...the best part of a day across the North Sea.

Anyhow, that's another vision. 'Spiciness was seductive'...will try and eek out more spice. Hahaha

The type formatting wouldn't allow me to place the accents...will have to try harder with the english!

Thanks for the review.

'Betty' aka Ellie :)

author comment
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