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Reflections of my Psychic

Submitted by Poetess on Thu, 2016-11-10 20:29

Mirror, Mirror on the wall
A cage inside your world
Within rays of shredded light
I'm trapped
Let me out!
Let me out!
Fingers seek the crystal sea
Tides of dark times
I shall swim beneath
And find my bleeding feet
caught in webs of weeds
And slice the green threads
with blades of clay,
Sunny hands come to me;
Save me now!
Lift me up!
Take me to shore
For I must survive
with each cut
The mirror's lonesome lullaby

by Poetess copyrighted2016

Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Last few words: 
When I wrote this poem I thought of sleep paralysis and the sensations one feels when trying to break free from it. Also, it talks about fighting one's demons and reaching for the light to keep away from one psychosis and the superficiality of life. Well, I hope it makes sense to you! In terms of feedback, I'm happy to receive any constructive criticism. Thanks!
Editing stage: 
Editing - polished draft

Comments

Esker

Fri, 2016-11-11 15:15

Esker's picture

a careful construct
Your LFW words are more daring
and clever
Oh Welcome by the way!!
never heard psychosis and superficial
linked like this but its so correct
It makes perfect sense to me!

Thank U!

Poetess

Sat, 2016-11-12 02:27

Poetess's picture

Thanks Esker for the feedback!
It took me sometime to write it
Yes there is always a fine line
bt real and superficiality ( so I think!)

Poetess

author comment

Esker

Sat, 2016-11-12 08:21

Esker's picture

Mr wolf!

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