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PRIMAL STALK (November contest)

The hunt begins
for hunger gnaws
while the mainspring slowly spins
and the stalker gives no pause.

Sun sinks slowly in the west,
fellow carnivores join in the fray
each hoping they can pass the test
of filling belly at the end of day.

Many targets are passed by
in the quest for the right one.
This hunter is choosy, sly.
His prey when found will soon be done.

And there it is, just off the path,
no idea what is to come.
Quick turn, predetermined aftermath.
The quarry already beyond numb.
I, the hunter, magically
turn into a KFC.

*KFC is a fast food chicken restaurant chain

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

Yes you had me hooked, waiting for a gory ending. Better to end this way LOL. Regards Roscoe..

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

Glad you liked the twist at the end lol......stan

author comment

good one Stan but had expected more fun than the end line...
.........................................................................

raj (sublime_ocean)

For some reason I just couldn't come up with anything worthy of an out loud laugh so I settled on maybe getting folks to smile

author comment

Hello Scrib, that line had me at a question that kind of stuck ... Why?
Also, the quarry already beyond numb.
Those sort of hints help put the ending together but the ending stands on its own.
The end line was a surprise and should have been a laugh but somehow wasn't.
Maybe the leading up to it. Maybe if it were more convincing of a vivid death (of something) I would have been shocked into an outburst.
Hmm the idea is a very good one though...
Thanks and good luck,
Mark
.

.
And that's how I see it,
Mark

Yeah it's not laugh out loud funny but maybe at least smile worthy which is all that's required of the contest. Appreciate your honesty and ideas

author comment

much more so than any entry I've seen including my own.

.
And that's how I see it,
Mark

When it comes to contest I can only post for fun because I'm a bit ineligible to win lol. BTW I'm about to start up an implied imagery shop if you'd like to join in.

author comment
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