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priceless
you are a beauty from God but sumtyms i cant help but wonder if he cheated, after creating an epitome of beauty with cerulean eyes , he still chose to crown you with a lovely voice, am entrailed with your words and enchanted by yur voice, so many things ought not be imagined but a world without you is definately one of them..
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words:
well one thing is for sure. all ladies in their individual way are priceless
Editing stage:
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Comments
weirdelf
Wed, 2018-07-11 12:35
I don't know how I missed this,
but I know why it received no feedback.
Spelling is important, as is structure. See how this reads to you-
you are a beauty from God
but sometimes (sumtyms- is there a reason, a joke, a reference I missed in this gross mis-spelling?) i cant help but wonder if he cheated,
after creating an epitome of beauty
with cerulean eyes,
he still chose to crown you with a lovely voice,
am entrailed (entrailed? entrails are guts like intestines, again am I missing a joke, like she has you by the guts?)
with your words and enchanted by your (no way there is a joke here) voice,
so many things ought not be imagined
but a world without you is definately one of them..
Those last two lines really make the poem.
Why not write it again? With some respect for the language that makes it possible
cheers,
Jess
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