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Preservation

A writer
is someone
who is used to
putting his foot
in his mouth
to taste
what it’s like
to walk

one who is
willing
to take a
measured step
away from
his own strut

(yes, it is possible)
to become a stranger

to his own family
and friends,
so that strangers
can come infinitely
closer to theirs

(writers love strangers)
who in the act
of observing
risks the truncation
of everything
observation
was made
lengthy for

it is an act of
rebellion--
writing--
of self-sacrifice

(a cross
upon the
house's wall)

for the sake of
peace
and ultimately

preservation

Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
can you relate to this as a writer? or thinking about other writers, who have exposed certain truths or realities, for the sake of the common good? does it make sense?
Editing stage: 

Comments

Sure, it's easy to relate

" A poet's work is to name the unnameable, to point at frauds, to take sides, start arguments, shape the world, and stop it going to sleep".

This is a quote from Salman Rushdie, The Satanic Verses ... we used this on a t-shirt once.

thanks, themoonman. that is a good quote. i've got a salman rushdie book lined up for reading sometime soon.

author comment

First of all, welcome to Neopoet.
I am glad to read the words that stand out from the stream of the neopoetic conscience like sail boats on a good windy day.
The name of your poem reflects your idea.
The beginning is brilliant and unique.
The rhythmic flow is great.
Please write more.
Don't be afraid to take the reader beyond the outside world of a writer. Tell us more about how he feels when becomes that stranger.
You know about that balancing rope a writer walks between loneliness and solitude, that struggle for the right word, and more things I can only imagine, like seeing beasts in the dark corner or treasure maps in the scribbles of a drunk in the roadside McDonalds.
Looking forward to seeing more of your submissions.
Also take a look at our workshops, you can submit there more frequently than once a day. All you have to do is to ask the organizer to join.

IRiz

IRiz, thanks for the kind words! I'm excited to share and get feedback from people who are thoughtful and obviously versed in thinking like a poet, like yourself. I definitely might utilize the Workshop possibility. Just starting out on this thing. :)

author comment

anything said
goes
you have a long way yet
let
Salman Rushdie
stay away
to be on mommy
Earth
don't forget
nor bet
as yet
this is your second one
I have read
I comment not plenty as yet
but you are lucky
comments from me
you beget

sing this as a song
can you
a challenge
and a bet!!!!

https://vocaroo.com/i/s1XKaLllZ7fo
I'll repost it to SoundCloud which is archival.

Forgive me, I do a lot of work on poetry online, here and various other sites and don't remember everything I post. This poem must have struck me as remarkable or I would not have taken the time to record it.

Yes, it is honest, as poets we both alienate ourselves and incorporate ourselves in life's most important matters.

It reminds me of my own poem
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/poems/expoetation-video#new

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

https://soundcloud.com/neopoet/preservation-by-gregory-walker
you can use that link to share the recording anywhere, freely.

I did a bit of work on the sound in Audacity to make it sound like it was read in an auditorium, hope you don't mind.

Please though, I just can't remember, where did I first encounter this poem? Was it Facebooks 'ELITE CRITIQUES ON POETRY'?
https://www.facebook.com/groups/1550519705235725/

I don't normally offer critique there because every time I have it has been rejected Popeye style 'I yam wot I yam'. [grins]

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

weirdelf, it was actually the "poetry critique" facebook group where you found it first. very glad that you made the connection and shared this group with me! it is hard sometimes not to feel alone as a writer and I've really enjoyed much of the writing and interaction here so far. thanks again for the recording!

author comment

thanks, blistered pen!

author comment
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