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Expoetation (with video)

We mine your clouds
for their silver linings
collect your tears
to irrigate their sorrow,
appropriate your joy
to fulfil a need to ode
we’ll even take your crap
to fertilise our nightmares

poets gather, mine, harness, exploit
we refine and distil it
and return it to you
different,
but still yours

https://youtu.be/43W97xTTUcU

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
I'm doing a few readings on Youtube. The quality will get better when I lean to combine my camera footage with my laptop cam footage
Editing stage: 

Comments

is that what you meant?
It's shaky because it is emotional. I sometimes feel like poets exploit life, though giving something back.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

but you are right,
putting the text there they can see it at the same time.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

I love this poem because it rings so true. It's like being reunited with a family member who was raised as you, with same values and insights. One I will keep close to me.
Thank you.

T

The most powerful reaction
of mind on mind
is transference of sight

Thank you

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

great! I like the humor and the word play. mining for silver / linings. crap to fertilize nightmares. the last lines are powerful, too. "return it to you different but still yours." the way poetry is a gift that has been refined and distilled in our minds. I think that's one of the things I love best about writing at this point in my life: personalizing philosophy and (shared) experience. thanks for the poem!

'Preservation' https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/poems/preservation

(A hint, don't put your titles in caps, it looks pretentious)

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

Deep and honest.
You use words carefully and thoughtfully
I wonder if you want to say more about what is returned and how words of poem become alive.

IRiz

I don't want to brag.

Thank you.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

I guess I understand.

IRiz

I read the poem again. I thought it is a new submission.
It sounds familiar. It is a good sign when poem is remembered for its vibe.

IRiz

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