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POET'S DESPAIR

These are mere words
they will not vibrate the air
then throb within your stomach's pit
...like music will

These words...
Won't reflect the summer's light
then burn an image into your mind
...like painting does

These words....
will not be touched or caressed
by finger tips and eyes
like sculpture can

These words....
are just ....words.
but on occasion
once in a great while
they Might by chance become
something more
than mere
.........words

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
I should likely stay with rhyming stuff but I figured I should do a free verse at least once in a while.......my apologies
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

why you would say that! This is as good a free verse as I have ever read here! I particularly liked the comparison to music, painting and sculpture! Using the senses of touch and hearing and sight, while comparing them to what is going on in your head is a great idea! Nicely done! ~ Geez.
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My chatroom is taking a break
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Thank you for your participation.
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Thank you for your kind words. I do so few free verse poems that when I Do i have no idea at the quality

author comment

Hello, Stan!
I believe your words (and good poetry) help us hear the music, see the sunlight, feel the sculpture - address all the senses! Really enjoyed this!
Thank you!
L

I sometimes think all painting or sculptures should be accompanied by a poem. I have photo of what I think is a great illustration for Where Fences Are But Memories

author comment

Hello Scribbler,
A really good poem with a strong message I enjoyed reading. The comparison of the arts is a clever idea and well put across.

Some suggestions-
Drop: 'stomach's' - no need to spell it out. 'and eyes' - which applies to most art. 'on occasion' - which is self-evident.
'then burn' - burning, for something more immediate.
'by chance' - hits the wrong note (for us poets!) by craft, perhaps?

Just my thoughts..............PJ

Welcome to the asylum lol. I appreciate your ideas and will keep them in mind in eventual editing. If you stay long enough you will see I do a Lot of editing in even stuff that is years old.

author comment

Love this Scribbler! A clever use of comparisons. As Lavender has said already, words well crafted can help us to see so much more.

Cheers

Michael Anthony

I don't write a lot of free verse so it takes people like ya'll to let me know whether I've done well when I Do.Thanks for dropping by

author comment

REALLY
why do you stick to olderna days to pass time they had no ways so stuck to a dictionary so heavy passing words from syllables only here to there and you speak of quality its like the taste on one's lips always tastes differently with the same pair or another one just to compare men are always hungry women love to cook different curry so of quality don't worry all skip me in a quicker hurry as you will

Now convert these words into FREESTYLE scribble if you please Stanly

Hey, squeezing out one free verse every couple of months is about all my pen can stand lol. Do you know how hard it is for a rhyming poet to start a poem and it not suddenly become western classic in style.?

author comment

I have done the favor stan
you may read it
as and when
u freely can

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