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The Poet (Anapest ex.)

I can paint with no brush, nor with colours I'd draw
when the night has to coat and the dark has to fall;
I've my art, I can sing and alive I would show
what the words have to bring, and the magic they call.

Editing stage: 

Comments

To my ear that's pretty bang on.
You might have added an extra syllable with 'the power of the words '
Maybe 'with the power of words' would fit. Parsed like this. 'with the POW/er of WORDS'
Similarly you added 'can still call' which puts another syllable in with 'still'.
I'm sure Wesley will let us know. Jx

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I was doing some edits while you comenting. What do you think of the last line. I wasn't sure about "power" either though it sounded ok to my ear despite the extra syllable.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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author comment

I think it's very good. Perfect anapest.
I might put 'and their tools have to call' on the last line. Just using and instead of what.
But that's my personal preference, so please feel free to ignore. Jx

------------
Remember we are a workshop site.
Don't forget to offer critique on poems you read.

again dear jane for the uthoughts. Much appreciated

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Please follow me on Instagram
https://instagram.com/poetry.jo?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

author comment

just drop "would" from the last line. This evens out the flow while having no great effect on meaning. Alternatively, drop "and" from the last line, again having little effect on meaning.

Keith Logan
the happy chappy
https://www.neopoet.com/community-guidelines

Appreciate the read and the feedback. Seems I've rushed this one. ((Hushshsh)), please don't let sir Wesley know about it. :)
Thanks again.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Please follow me on Instagram
https://instagram.com/poetry.jo?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

author comment

You remind me of a dream like soul passionate for the creative arts. The part of me that wants to challenge the system has taken a back seat to my latest piece. It evokes a sentiment of love torn from the very fabric of our existence. I hope we could become good friends cause you are a remarkable talent your self. Never relent in giving your all to pursue your dreams in expression of creative artistic freedom.

Mario Vitale

thank you for your kind words. I am really happy to get a new friend reading my work. I am really honored.
Highly appreciate the encouraging words.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Please follow me on Instagram
https://instagram.com/poetry.jo?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

author comment

you have captured the essence and feel of Anapest. Congratulations.

I'm going to read it to honour it, not to point out flaws.

http://vocaroo.com/i/s0jIT82qC64M

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

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