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Plunder for gain
I was engulfed as the sky book page opened; swift march packaged
To break off silence, omnibus stir, I say a prayer; my wont - caged?
Eyes snap open; covered in a cold sweat, heart pounding, irrational fear
To my left; everyone was tied in the den of mongers - not anymore fare?
Properties went in, ransom came; stell back in rugged stead, raggedy.
Hawking on the highway, a desire helper came as love, there looms tragedy:
Found in citadel of learning with another lovebird, I beweild both sides for gain
My family is happy once more, with no question for the source, it was plain
In this moment, I am euphoric...I received the letter after some weeks
Of what I thought stress caused; "it is positive", a new sinister wicks.
Let me bury shame, see as the blood flows in pain; I buried glory,
I buried trust; exposed to both sides...no one left except this black lorry
Then, I recalled a woman dressed with the sun in my dream saying;
"Do not harm this child", but what of the teasing?
I cannot stay drowning in this pain, especially knowing it's me to blame.
Do not cry when I'm gone, I'm not a person you will ever need - flame
Tell my mom "I'm sorry", tell my dad "I'm gone", tell friends "I could not make it"
Tell future "I failed halfway", I failed as a daughter, as a wife, as a mom -void it
I touched the blood once more as I close unfulfilled life page
Do not be like me that bring forth no vision, rot in life cage
Since this happened; dying in a cozy ride of fear, I become fearless
If I die in ways I fear, bury me regardless.
Review Request (Intensity):
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words:
I would appreciate it if my poem is accepted. I'm always open for corrections as well.
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Candlewitch
Sat, 2022-05-07 05:59
hello jummy writes,
welcome to Neopoet, it is very nice to meet you! I hoe that all your experiences here be pleasant ones. if you need any help finding your way around, or anything else just ask me. if I don't know the answer, we will find someone who can help :)
*hugs, Cat
p.s.
I don't understand your poem, which is probable my problem and fault. please wait for a poet named (Geezer) to come along, as he can probably help you.
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Jummywrites
Sat, 2022-05-07 09:17
Thank you so much for your
Thank you so much for your kind gesture.
Ayoola
author commentGeezer
Sat, 2022-05-07 09:51
I'm not sure...
I am stunned at the esteem my poetical colleaques
hold me in, to say the least.
I can only tell you [and them] what I see in this piece.
I see a girl that has left her home and life behind
in search of a dream that has not been fulfilled.
She has turned to prostitution to support herslf, and her family
is deceived into thinking that she has a regular job?
Did she try to blackmail a client?
I am not sure if she has survived an attempt at suicide, but
she feels that she may try it again, down the road.
I cannot be sure of what I read into this one, but you certainly have
gotten me and others thinking. That is what poetry is all about;
trying to give a picture to the reader and hoping that they get it.
~ Geezer.
.
It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?