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Plea to the Condemned(Revised)

Come forth
bow down in repentance
Forgiveness is given
for your resistance

Forsake me no more by devotion
creating this shadow
Degrading explosion

Revolting acts led
by the sickness of greed
but to succeed, please believe,
he with faith in Our Father
shall achieve

Take heed, my lost children
for the future has been declared
verified by our past, we wont last,
Now is the time to get prepared

A false prophet has spoken
captured the essence
of creating relating factors
eliminating the want of my presence

You see not what truth she holds within
Her eyes filled your hearts
then pulled them apart
left you beaten into submission

While driven by her passion
you forget most everything
Why are you here? What do you fear?
Nothings clear, except her intentions

I can see I'm only wasting
what time we have left
All that are here have been possessed
taken over, bereft

A Savior from her evils
a break within her walls
A hero to society
my deity has made the call

All pieces are now in place
my lost flock gathered with her again
my orders given, I must erase
the corrupted, her sinful plans I've disrupted
they are dead

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
I hope this isn't too late ..
Editing stage: 


Isiah 55: 8-10

As the heavens are above the earth, so are my ways above your ways and my thoughts above your thoughts.

Rockism 2:1 God is---and we aren't.

I read this more as a supplication (as obvious from the title)though I thought you're taking Scott's concept for the workshop. well I think some of Scott's is there when dealing with human greediness where you needed to go deeper.
A good use of enjambment though and I thought the language usage and the internal rhymes work really well
through out the lines.


Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me

Your use of enjambment (me saying this with the help of Rula)
I thought was quite good and showed a great deal of thought in this piece.
It is one type I haven't tried as yet it seemed outside of my writing for some reason..
Great work will try, but Digit has disappeared, so I have to find him..
Yours Ian.T

There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

I thank all for your comments and the crazy
thing is I went thru so much to make sure I was
using enjambment because that's how I write!
I never knew that!
Also, when first starting this poem
I wrote so far then stopped having
duties as mom to fulfill before getting back
so the original flow and subject was a little hard to
get back
I wrote this as the priest/ preacher/ rabbi whichever holy man
to his lost flock then to himself as his deity revealed how
he must rectify the situation
having his insanities take over

i appreciate the comments .. i myself have a dif view of religion than most
and really wanted to take the anger deeper it being my
safety zone

Alone we shall find our ways into worlds of never imagined discoveries

author comment

Your religious beliefs are for you to have, what you write of as a poet holds the world to inspection in thoughts and actions.
We are Spiritualists here, Anne my Wife is an international medium so we really let others think as they will and do as they will.
I think that one thing I like about this is, that it encompasses all people, no matter what they believe in.
From the Pigmy in the jungle to any of the religious people in the world we all have life, it is how we lead it and integrate with others whilst learning here is the main thing.
That's why poetry is such a great medium to work with, it lets me write from Digit to Angels and that is a very wide scope.
You go well and be a Mum first then a writer, as being a Mum will teach you many things writing won't,
Yours Ian.T

There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

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