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Pinned

When you get pinned
Like the donkey
On the walls of sin,
Remember this key,
Choose it wisely~

Be set free
Throw away dis-ease
Be the key
Not the lock-ness monster.

When people pin you down
Get back up and dust off,
Never give up trying to own,
Ever be your own true self.

Be true freedom,
Throw away fake views,
Be the door
Through which love comes after.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Last few words: 
I'm feeling like I need one more verse to complete this one. I just sat down and wrote three new poems and this the last one, ran out of steam! lol It's a bit personal to me but hopefully others can relate as well.
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Hello Lindame, no wonder you ran out of steam, three poems in a row. I like this one, the message is clear and the title is fine. Sounds a bit preachy, but that's a genre, so no quibbling about it.
Yes, perhaps another strophe, but it's OK as is.
Good play on words in the second strophe.
I'll return when others have commented.
Best, Gracy

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"My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies; fairy tales of yesterday will grow but never die, I can fly, my friends.” – Freddie Mercury

Thank you Gracy, happy you came buy to read and comment. I'm not totally happy with this one myself. But poetry is on the back burner at this time. I don't know what I'm going to do once I leave the internet!! Yep, that is looming in the near future so, poetry will have to stay in the notebooks and dairies for the remainder of my life probably. Thanks for having me here.

"The most technologically efficient machine that man has ever invented is the book." ~Northrup Frye

 

author comment

this flows nicely and I love the play on words! I'm enjoying your poetry.

*hugs, Cat
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When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

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