The pilot’s superposition

as the clouds open up and rain down 

bullets, I close my eyes. I wonder-

would you love my scars as I do now?

would you savor our kisses 

if they taste like blood and steel?

how I lie awake waiting for the planets

to realign, ruminating on my reality.

whether I am in your lap 

or in the lap of the A-10.

whether I am in your sights

or the sights of the man behind.

is it so crazy to imagine that I can’t

distinguish between the two?

that the storm I feel inside thinking 

of you is somehow worse than 

lightning rocking these metal wings

-to debate whether I am at the mercy 

of the heavens, or of my heart

-to pretend, that if the gods hurl

me from the sky like Bellerophon,

Love is setting me ablaze.

I learn slowly that peace isn’t just

the absence of war.

in your absence, the stars line up

in front of their black walls 

as if facing a firing squad.