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Pains of the Heart

Can death come
Without a grave
Does love out last
Time and space

What of spirit
Can it hover
To enter inside
Another empty place

Will an emotion
Begin to fade
When not stroked
By loves embrace

Can you give
What's not wanted
In a box
Wrapped with lace

Who can say
Where the heart
Might indeed go
To find grace

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 

Comments

A suggestion:

Does love (out) last
Time and space

A pensive write. Well thought out. My favorite lines:

Who can say
Where the heart
Might indeed go
To find grace

(I would add the word saving to grace)

always, Cat

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
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I didn't understand your suggestion to Eddie. It looked to me like you were suggesting the same thing. What did I miss?
And Eddie, this is a neat, concise little work. wesley

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

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Thanks for the read and comment.

Eddie
...

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

author comment

thanks for the read, and the help on the "out". the grace does not mean any spiritual or Godly entity it refers to comportment. sometimes when we're in love we become idiots. So the grace is acting logical in a situation that does not always has logic. love is one of the most hardess emotions to content with.

again thank you,
Eddie
PS you know i don't believe in God or grace of the saving type. I believe in self-responsibilty

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

author comment

thanks for the read. interesting word. I like it.

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

author comment

Sounds as if the real question is if love canexist outside the physical level. Only variance I would consider is to rearrange 1st two lines to something like
what good a grave
without death..........of course this might turn this too dark...................stan

Grave is a metaphor, because there is no death really. it is the connadations of hugh pain that you wish to be dead emotionally. For me real love is not in the realm of the physical it is sensed in the mind and translated in to an emotional hurt that affects the metaphysical being. I have already gone to far, as you see the explanation eludes everyone, at lease in my perception.
Thanks Stan for the read and thought out comment.

Eddie
...

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

author comment

Eduardo, this is not an easy subject to write about, but you approached it with grace and beauty.

joe

thanks for the read.

Eddie

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

author comment
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