Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Overthinking

Someday
I'll
stop
thinking
about
old lovers
and
letters
and
things
I
did
for
them
I'll
stop
worrying
about
what
got
broken
and
how
I
failed
to fix
it
I'll
stop
thinking
about
those
things
someday
but
not today...
not today

Style / type: 
Free verse
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

I liked your poem, it read well and had a lot of charm about it.
The only point I would make is to end each statement with a full stop. Minimalism is effective but clarity can make a statement stronger.
Ruby :)

Give and grow - let's raise our verses together. I'm happy to comment on your work and appreciate a comment on mine.

I like the minimalistic way it was written and to keep with the theme relax it didn’t make me ‘overly’ think. Or get lost in translation. The words were right there and accessible. I felt that the reader found peace from their past if only for one day. Pray as they sort things out they find relief. Someone might ask why do they have to continually think about the past rlsp at all? But sometimes breakups are financially, mentally, and emotionally messy. A child at home; perhaps the co parenting reminder or the new debt one finds themselves whatever the case may be.

Nice one, simple but effective. The lack of punctuation didn't concern me - maybe you could just make a space between statements for clarity?

Jenifer Jaspa James

(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.