Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.


Outside from a hundred feet high
a cold rain drips from sentinel oaks
beneath a dull gray winter sky
while starlings laugh at birdy jokes.
My mind wanders while the time tics by.

Each drop which taps my roof of tin
seems to reverse the passing time
and washes away one more sin
letting me peer through the grime
to times and places I have been.

I loose my eyes then close my eyes
and float back to my younger years.
Then to my complete surprise
my weathered eyes fill up with tears.
as old songs and memories arise.

I cry for singers who are gone
who filled my youth with all their song
who came when I'd turn the rain on.
The fact they're gone seems somehow wrong
nevermore to see another dawn.

But it might not be the music
which brings dampness to my eyes of green.
Perhaps it's the visuals' constant flick
of loved ones resting beneath the green
in their vaults of strong red brick.

But in a flash of blinding clarity
realization strikes like white lightning
Old songs which so sadden me
when those passed old singers sing
reminds me of youth which fled me.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content


I do think that it such a shame that
the songs of youth will fade away from us
and that is why we have "Golden Oldie" stations.
I enjoyed spending a little bit of time thinking
about the songs which filled my mouth and heart.

Two things that I've noticed here, one is: "I loose my eyes"?
And how about [these weathered orbs] instead of weathered eyes?
and maybe [of loved ones who have left the scene], thus preventing
the repeating of the word green? Great stuff though. ~ Geez.

It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

Good ideas which will be considered during edit. Appreciate the thought and thanks for the visit

author comment

An incredible piece>. I've no suggestions here. Really spoke to me.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Thank you for such kind words

author comment
(c) No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.