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OLD MAN ON THE MOUNTAIN

The road's gravel groans a bit
as I park on its wide shoulder
then I sneeze and cough then finally spit
on a roadside boulder.

Here on Parsons' Mountain side
I look around at the steep hills
where huge hardwood trees abide
whose shadows lend to autumn's chills.

All the leaves are painted now
and scattered cherry trees are bare
on these slopes that never felt a plow;
around here that is pretty rare.

These deep woods look about the same
as they did four long decades ago
and they still hold deer and other game.
I scan hollows where I no longer go.

For I'm no longer what I was:
strong of leg and deep of breath,
time being the main blame and cause.
An old man who knows none escape death.

Overhead a flock of wild geese fly
newcomers unlike all the deer.
I watch them disappear and sigh.
Like them I'll one day leave from here.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Your imagery is quite amazing, I do feel that you could actually take away your first stanza so it starts with
Here on parson's mountain. That's my thought on this.

I watch them disappear and sigh.

Instead of and sigh, on high?

The walks with you are so enjoyable.

Thank you...Teddy

The fewer lines I scribble out the better? lmao.The sigh /high thing.....I used sigh to insert a bit of sad wistfulness

author comment

Of course i am not trying to make your poems smaller LOL its just that the spitting scene is a bit much for my eyes and stomache. "GIGGLES" yes i dont like spitters. I am a lady "GIGGLES" i suspect its a mans poem and others will love it, i do reccomend you put a warning, something like (not to be read over lunch) HA HA

Thank you...Teddy

to have offended your dainty sensibilities lol. This stanza was written so as to humanize the protagonist......I had originally thought to make him fart lol

author comment

No offence my friend, your imagery I just too clever for me today

Thank you...Teddy

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