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Now (Rhyming Patterns workshop) Attn: of Ron

Submitted by Ian.T on Fri, 2012-08-10 03:20

A rhyming place for all to see
Especially made for you and me
To see if we can write in rhyme
I hope my entry is in time

This is a workshop you all know
Run by Stan the so and so
But give your best so we can see
What's rhyme to do with poetry

Just a thought, Yours Ian.T

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Last few words: 
Just had to join as this first part is a sing along..
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Workshop: 
RHYME PATTERNS (part 1) let's begin

Comments

Ian.T

Fri, 2012-08-10 06:25

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Thanks for your comment, i thought that this is all that is needed for the first bit, we will see what the lords and mastresses say about it LOL, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment

Ian.T

Wed, 2012-08-15 18:19

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Just been going through the site again,
and still need to sort out the last line of mine.
I put, "What's Rhyme to do with poetry" which I think is the best way of writing it..
Where you have put, " What rhymes to do with poetry..
Is your line a question that needs a rhyming answer..Like :-
To do with poetry
It could be rotary
Or just plain notary
I will leave it with you
To see this one through
Then we can continue.
Having fun I just begun,
But forgive me so
Time out, I have to go,
Before you call me a so and so.
This is verse free from me,
Yours With respect, Ian.T

(La La sparrow pressed the keys)

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment

judyanne

Fri, 2012-08-10 07:23

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you've been practicing i can tell
a great little singsong ditty
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

Rula

Fri, 2012-08-10 07:40

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spot the workshop in every level. Great job!

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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scribbler

Fri, 2012-08-10 07:53

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A bit on the SS side which is just what we need. And congrats on keeping it short........................stan

BlueDemon77

Fri, 2012-08-10 10:01

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Most assuredly SS and fun. I'm having difficulty trying to temporarily unlearn my normal philosophy of writing. It's going to a valuable lesson for me to not take myself too seriously. I didn't notice the small gradations in which I became pompous until this workshop smacked me upside the head with the truth. A truly humbling experience it is.

Ron

Blue Demon77

"What I want is to be what I was before the knife,
before the brooch pin, before the salve, fixed me in this parenthesis:
Horses fluent in the wind. A place, a time gone out of mind."

The Eye Mote-Sylvia Plath

Ian.T

Fri, 2012-08-10 10:11

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I bow to your learning, as I do with Judy and Jess and there are a few others that are dedicated to poetry here that is why this is a great site to be on.
I just stroll along I know it is bad sometimes to accept that I have never learnt the correct forms of poetry and sometimes I will try to write as required.
Having the learned poets on a workshop, is sometimes hard for the others, and as you have just been smacked on the head, you are now fully aware of how poets can be born and evolve other than going to a school that teaches all there is to know..
The worst thing is for you and some of the others trying to be better than our teachers, and arguing, when they should be helping in the teaching.
A rule we should bring in "If you know the answers to the questions then teach the others the way..
Thanks for your comment and support, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment

Geezer

Fri, 2012-08-10 18:27

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right Ian. Nice job! ~ Gee

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

magics02

Sat, 2012-08-11 12:49

Just stopping in to say
You have a great day
Read your poem
Had a laugh
Good job
My little lass

Ian thank you for keeping in touch and thinking of you and hope all is going great.
Sorry to impose on the WS but I just had to do it:)
Love and blessings
Ms Mona

Ian.T

Tue, 2012-08-14 16:58

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Being very naughty
but isn't there too many L's
in the last line of your rhyme,
Love you all Sparrow

Yenti Here Thanks for your comment, x

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment

BlueDemon77

Sat, 2012-08-18 08:19

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Now (Rhyming Patterns workshop revision)
.
Original by Ian T

A rhyming place for all to see
Especially made for you and me
To see if we can write in rhyme
I hope my entry is in time

This is a workshop you all know
Run by Stan the so and so
But give your best so we can see
What's rhyme to do with poetry
Just a thought, Yours Ian. T
---------------------------------------------------------
Now (Rhyming Patterns workshop revision)

A Rhyme pattern workshop it is indeed
to help us all germinate a small seed
to guage precision when limits are set
it can help this poem, many more yet!

A classroom, a guideline for each of us
meant as a forum where we can discuss
form poems that teach us disciplined craft
free style is still there the classicist laughed

writers in search of the flawless next word
will find themselves here in flight like a bird
If a runner wears weights muscles gain strength
poetry with a scalpel not a monkey wrench
Just a reply, Yours Ron BlueD

Blue Demon77

"What I want is to be what I was before the knife,
before the brooch pin, before the salve, fixed me in this parenthesis:
Horses fluent in the wind. A place, a time gone out of mind."

The Eye Mote-Sylvia Plath

Ian.T

Sun, 2012-08-19 04:24

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I think this is what Stan was talking about.
By changing the pattern what effect it has on the poem as mine was written AABB I have now changed it to:-

Especially made for you and me
To see if we can write in rhyme
I hope my entry is in time
A rhyming place for all to see ABBA

Run by Stan the so and so
But give your best so we can see
This is a workshop you all know
What's rhyme to do with poetry ABAB

I think the next stage will be a rewrite of the poem maybe the entry you have just made will suit the third stage of the workshop ??? Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment

BlueDemon77

Sun, 2012-08-19 15:53

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The final posting has both my version and the method you suggest.

Thanks,

Ron

Blue Demon77

"What I want is to be what I was before the knife,
before the brooch pin, before the salve, fixed me in this parenthesis:
Horses fluent in the wind. A place, a time gone out of mind."

The Eye Mote-Sylvia Plath

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