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The Night Visitor

Submitted by ferenc inigo Beck on Mon, 2012-06-18 17:35

I went forth with cloak and cowl
To tarry where the night things howl
Where shadows 'fore the moonbeams fled
And night-dreams with the darkness wed

I hear your voice,it's taunting me
Beside the foot-path by the tree
A whisper,tremor,thin and low
Calls me pleading,I will not go

What do you seek,both night and day?
Forever coming here to pray
In hope somehow this penance may
Wash your soul from sin away

Summoned yet from earthen womb
I rise from out the darkened tomb
In some vain hope your soul may save
Ah let me rest here in my grave

Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Roscoe Lane

Wed, 2012-06-20 03:19

Roscoe Lane's picture

Deep dark and chilling, and quite stunning. I like this very much. And a heartfelt welcome to Neopoet ferenc inigo Beck. Regards Roscoe..

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

BlueDemon77

Wed, 2012-06-20 03:37

BlueDemon77's picture

I greatly enjoyed your poem. It was possessed of an authentic darkness. Most critics of poetry with macabre imagery get compared to Poe. You have your own thing going. Minor rhythm gaffes, but overall excellent music/meter. There are a couple of one word changes I would make (example in quatrain 4 line 2, I would replace the with of). I look forward to seeing more of your work.

Ron
Blue Demon77

Blue Demon77

"What I want is to be what I was before the knife,
before the brooch pin, before the salve, fixed me in this parenthesis:
Horses fluent in the wind. A place, a time gone out of mind."

The Eye Mote-Sylvia Plath

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