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Nigeria

NIGERIA

Decades passed
Century crops
Britain delivered
A parcel of hopes
To the greatest leaders
of course
Africa's best political
Workforce

To Nigeria
Africa bound
In Nigeria
Africa bond
From Nigeria
Africa emerged

First citizens
Of the world
Blacks before
Other nations

Our unity
A priority

Yes!

Our diversity
A strength

Yes!

Boom boom boom...
O spear me that
Just go right on
Ahead
And save me the tears
Again

O pracious fatherland

-UGK

Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
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Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
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Comments

i am happy joining this platform

author comment

I think you have it all right here. A good work that delivers a message and does it with aplomb.
The only criticism I have, is the spelling of the word [precious]. I'm not the best critic of free-verse poetry, but even I can see that this one is good. Welcome to Neopoet and if you need help with anything, just ask and I'm sure that someone will help you with whatever questions or problems you may have. ~ Geezer.
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Glad to see a passionate poem about pride, nationhood, and idealism. Good poem! The feeling jumps off the page.

I agree with the above. A composer writes within the rules of music so it can be played, so is grammar the rules for poet. He can consciously play with the grammar but has control of that and it becomes part of the rhetoric of the poem, which is not the case here.
MY take: End the poem with "Yes!" Boom boom boom and the double entendres don't work, nor is
"precious fatherland" . Fatherland is for me too European, used most often by Germany Yours might better be "motherland".

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

and invited them to Neopoet, and this is exactly what I was hoping for- raw truthful poetry.
You will change us.

cheers,
Jess
A new incentive for critique, description at
https://www.neopoet.com/community/news/proposal-encouraging-critiquescom...
discussion at
https://www.neopoet.com/forum/23390

nice poem i enjoy reading your poem, it give me hope for unity
just like my poem "lets unite despite our difference"
nice one

always remember to make a critique of other poems
using the hoe is not madness for nothing

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