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Neopoet Random Challenge #13 : My Mother

harsh and abusive
now she has passed,
slightly psychotic
right up to the last.

she hated children
so why'd she have four?
of which I was the last
there were no more.

except for my brother
who died at birth,
he, the lucky one
child of her heart, (child of worth.)

she blamed me for
not being a boy.
I ruined her life
and soured her joy.

sick and dying
on her death bed,
she confessed her crimes
as I soothed her forehead.

seeking forgiveness,
she showed fearful eyes,
I knew what would calm her
ending her cries.

I said those words
she so needed to hear,
a lie on my lips...(to my great shame)
"I forgive you, my Mother dear"

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

is the highest virtue
even Mt Everest bows
owing to too much
as it snows

Did you not read my poem
MOM'S SMILES
All have
150 pages of reviews
from poets around the world
Cats like you
but why haven't you
you would have loved her too

who
my mom

dear lovedly,

you asked me to forgive her. every day i try to. but as yet, haven't been able to do so. I'll keep trying.

*hugs, Cat

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And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment

T..

there is no reason for you to feel bad about what you wrote. you always tell me the truth of what you think and feel, and I appreciate that and value you because of it.

*love & hugs, Cat & eddy

*

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment

an Angel even today
others with only sentiments play
I can't relay

Thanks any way
I am happy you asked me to stay
I will say
what I will
thanks

I'm so glad you will stay
you are loved as always
no matter what you say.
Neo is glad to have you
and you are loved.

*love, both Cat & eddy

*

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment

I get your point. I think that you are on your way to forgiveness, you just have to reconcile it with your hurt. I like what you have done, keep it and reflect on what you have written from time to time. I see nothing that I would change. ~ Geez.
.

It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

I slept on it last night, if I should delete or keep it. to delete it would feel too much like being shut-up all over again. if I did that, I would have to leave Neopoet, because the experience of Neo would change for me. I feel like Neo is my home and I belong here with my Neo family.

I talked it over with Steve last night. he asked me a few pertinent questions: 1. did I break any rules 2. is the poem valid. 3. do I want to, yet again, let someone shut-me up and take away my voice and rights.

it has been many, many years for me to get to a place where I could write about it. this is a gigantic victory for me. and the thing is; I didn't write it with rage...pretty much just the facts.

I want to thank you Geez, for your vehement support. I will not delete this.

*love & hugs, Cat

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment

I was misunderstood
so I deleted my views
Stay put
Neo needs you
who am I but a passer by
with my strange views

for who and what you are. I love your ways and views. you have let me see another perspective. thank you so very much!

*love & hugs, Cat & eddy

*

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment
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