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Nature’s Fashion Model

Silky wings,
Flutter in the breeze,
Landing,
On every,
Flowers and trees.

As a,
Hummingbird on the wing,
Taking,
Nature's sweet candy,
In spring.

Coloured wings,
Fly in the wind,
Like angelic angels,
That came,
To sing.

Wings shimmers,
In the light,
Causing wonder,
And delight,
Nature’s butterflies in flight.

In spring,
Summer and fall,
Nature’s fashion models,
Down the runway,
Comes to call.

As winters,
Breath whispers gently,
The model sleeps,
Awaking in spring,
Butterflies’ puro lets gracefully

Review Request (Intensity): 
Please use care (this is a sensitive subject for me, do not critique harshly)
Review Request (Direction): 
[This option has been removed]
Last few words: 
this about natures angels.
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

of Butterflies and birds being angels. Only a couple of criticisms here. You use a lot of plurals where they are not needed.

1] Flower[s] and tree[s].
2] Shimmer[s]
3] come[s] to call
4] Winter, being personalized, should be capitalized.
5] It should also have a apostrophe, to denote ownership of the breath.
All-in-all a good poem, though. ~ Geezer.
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It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

can you find another word for either angelic or angels in S3L3? The phrase "angelic angels" repeats one word against the other. I think your poem is worth a little more work.

Thomas

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...so like my lost dreams...the flood

The main reason that I wanted to comment, yet I forgot! The word 'angelic' !
~ Geez.
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It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

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