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MY PECKER

Look at my pecker, it's erect
standing proud and tall
it has quite a startling effect
if it's seen at all

And it has a dark red head
much more red than most
(oh yeah, I named my pecker Fred)
Fred's most startling I must boast

He likes to plunge into tight holes
he plunges in then plunges out
all ins and outs demand high tolls
for he must, in doing, remain stout

These peckers come in varied lengths
Fred's about eight inches long
but lengths don't always denote strengths
yet thirteen inch ones just seem wrong

Today Fred's out in the back yard
plainly seen from the back deck or
to Not see him would be hard
my red headed, black cloaked woodpecker

*and just what did you pervs Think I was talking about? lol

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
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Editing stage: 

Comments

this is the sort of thing that makes little boys titter (giggles he said TITter). It was clear from the start what you were doing so even the 'punchline' last stanza held no surprises.

You know I am no prude, but I have standards. Haven't you got anything better to do with your writing time?

cheers,
Jess
Everything changes bar one. Neopoet's 'Prime Directive'-
"Critique don't comment".
https://www.neopoet.com/community-guidelines

but what do you Really think? lmao.................stan

author comment

exactly that...
it was in your mind seeking
and
see what the authority says
your no kid..

loved

good grief doesn't anybody ever just write something for the fun of it?.....................stan

author comment

You and I know the value of humour
others only shed tears
that's why you and I have no fears …
what in hell the other thinks

Stan you do deserve many a winks

A guy sent me a note elsewhere
six is normal for a peck
but in USA a guy has one 13incher ..
what? I asked and he smiled,
it’s a record.
humour continued …
some eyes will go raw,
but in my work there is no flaw.

loved

There you go with mind on wrong pecker lol. i did the research and WOODpeckers vary in length from 6 inches to 13 inches. A 13 incher of the other type is referred to as a porn star lol..........stan

author comment

none the less
a STAR
now you are..
dearest
wooden peeker

ok
lol lol lol three times over

loved

Now you know why you should never write or say anything that an Elf might possibly disagree with, huh Stan?

I guess he's entitled to his opinion. I know when I wrote this I never thought it would become some kind of classic. But I write what I write and let chips fall as they may lol....................stan

author comment

hi stan i for one loved it and laughed thanks sue b x

Glad you enjoyed "MY PECKER"..................hmmmm...........that could be taken wrong couldn't it? lmao.............stan

author comment

Till I got to the last line when i smiled yet....except how does the 13 inch apply to wood peckers? and don't ask me to tell you the joke where the girl said I thought you said you were special but its only six inches
And he replies
From the ground baby!

as I told loved WOODpeckers vary from 6-13 inches. BTW two men stopped to urinate from a bridge. One said man that water's cold, the other replyed yes and deep too lol..........stan

author comment

0nce my driver
nearly drove me off the cliff
but swerved at the last moment
and saved me ...
rather more...
he was interested in his own sweet life /wife
i said
son I don't mind the water 3000 feet down below
but you know I can't swim.

here ur talking in centimeters and inches ..
the water was purely iced..... cold I can't say......

loved

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