Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

My eyes, your views

The ignited candle
burns straight
till butterflies try
to it, penetrate

let the brightness of light
flame within the
candle
and
the world be
the harbinger of
calmness and
solitude...

the flickering fire glows
as ever, within
the wavering candle,
seemingly everlasting
is now no more

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

thank you.
This deserves a read, youll find it on SoundCloud and the Facebook page Neopoet.com
https://soundcloud.com/neopoet/my-eyes-your-views

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

you wanted a gem
many liked it
your voice is majestic
adds beauty to verse
thanks to you
your student

Lovedly

author comment

What a beautiful message. Jxx

------------
Remember we are a workshop site.
Don't forget to offer critique on poems you read.

As Jess says - a gem
now, no more waffle and piffle
we want more poems like this
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

now I slowly compose
on my minds screen

then
erase it
till luminescence it reveals
takes time as
a gem needs to be polished

author comment

An infinite number of monkeys at typewriters would eventually produce Hamlet.
Rather than your machine gun effect of writing heedlessly to occasionally produce gems, why not think and learn a little bit, all the resources are here for you too learn.
Instead do learn, think more, write less, maybe, and turn out consistent crown of jewels?

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.