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As my eyes dim

Tendrils of being
filigree off my frame,
a blossoming hope
now reigned in, tamed.

Powerful yearnings
deep in my gut,
I've had to let go
his door is shut

I remember his birth
him smiling a frown,
sweet smells powder
and snow to rain down

Riding his bike
for the first time,
arms outstretched
I'm in the sublime

Glittering laughter
he brought into my life,
tear filled giggles
and hitting the heighths

Playing his game
with passion and power
running so hard
training hour to hour

Watching from sidelines
I cheered with my heart,
that boy was so gifted
pride ripped me apart

These are moments
that dance in my soul
when I close my eyes
I let them unfold

There won't be a day
that I won't miss him,
my precious moments
I hold, as my eyes dim.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
Hello to all my old friends. It's been a long time. This one's simple to kinda get me back into the swing of things. It's been a rough year. I don't normally write rhyme. But this one's especially written in that format for my bros Gee & Stan <3 it's nice to be home. P.S. be gentle I'm finding my words again.
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

you make my eyes dribble
no where do I stand?
Do read my poem

I LOVE AUSSIES

Jess went by and so many from other sites
You are still here Serendipity
Oh what a pity
you forgot the oldest of Neos
Loved then now Lovedly (technically)
Please recall me
sisterly
tho you 50 and I plus 82 be

Your poem will come. You have asked and now I shall answer. We've had long friendship. Weird but still my friend after all these years.

With love and respect Jayne.

P.s. I miss Jess so much :(

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

author comment

took a second read before I figured out this was about Jess. I think he would have liked it

Thank you biggest hugs. I just miss my friend. And arguing with him. Weird I know but that was the joy of Jess you could debate with him and once in a Blue Moon win an argument. Lol Not often but it did happen.

Love and miss you J xxx

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

author comment

I think it is one of your best! I also was astounded to see it in rhyme! I will say no more about where this comes from, as it is up to you. One little, tiniest crit. You have an extra [h] in heights! Love and higgest bugs. ~ Bro.

Writing purely for oneself, is the ultimate in defensive posture.

Thank you you know how much I appreciate your commentary and your critiques. It's your job now to not BS me and tell me when my poetry sucks. Jess would have wanted it that way.

Love and higgliest bugs Sis.

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

author comment

Thank you for sharing -- extremely moving...

This is hardly a critique
any way her morale you raise now don't erase
read my latest

Thank you so much I truly appreciate that nice to meet you

Kindest regards Jayne.

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

author comment

I'm late to the party, as usual.
I cannot critique this, it is too close to my bruised heart.
But I know our 'tapping' friend is grinning miles wide, from his ocean.
Good to read your words again, my friend.

Respectfully, Race

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo

God I hope he's grinning. I miss our fights. He was one of few that never bullshitted me and always told me the truth. I've had some compliments over the years but the ones that mean the most are from my Neo Brothers & Sisters. One of the best things our tapping friend said to me was that if I pulled my head out of my ass I had the ability to be truly great. Backhanded as always but from him? GOLD!!! LOL

it's good to see you again I'll go check in with you and see what your page holds for me
Love and hugs J xxx

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

author comment

it is so very good to see you again. how are you? where have you been? are you okay? I've missed you...and Jess T. too... my heart is sore. please don't go away again! lovely poem, but sad, kind of ethereal. it is great as it is. you are a fantastic wordsmith!!!

*hugs, Cat

*

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

author comment

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

author comment

We're doing it again lol where do I start I have been to hell and back over the last 8yrs. I'll message you in the morning and fill you in. I died a little bit in November but I had an amazing Dr called Dr Harry in ICU who didn't go home for 3 and a half days until I was out of the woods. So I'm still getting over that but I'm back I'll be posting a couple of times a week. I miss Jess so much he was my sparring partner. We could fight like cats & dogs and ten minutes later still chat to each other. I'll come round tomorrow and have a good read of you. I've missed your magical words.

Hugs and a huge smile xxx

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

author comment
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