The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Mr. Barman" effectively utilizes the setting of a bar and the character of the barman to explore themes of loneliness, escapism, and the struggle with personal demons. The use of direct address to the barman creates an intimate, conversational tone, which helps to draw the reader into the speaker's emotional world.

However, there are areas where the poem could be improved. For instance, the rhythm and meter of the poem are somewhat inconsistent, which can disrupt the flow of the piece. Working to establish a more consistent rhythm could enhance the musicality of the poem and make it more engaging to read.

Additionally, the poem could benefit from more specific and concrete imagery. While the poem does a good job of conveying the speaker's emotional state, it lacks the kind of vivid, sensory details that can make a poem truly come alive in the reader's mind. For example, instead of saying "It’s the yesterday that lingers / Causes me a great amount of pain", the poem could provide specific memories or images from the speaker's past that illustrate this pain.

Finally, the poem's exploration of its themes could be deepened. While the poem does touch on themes of loneliness and escapism, it doesn't delve into these themes in a particularly complex or nuanced way. By further developing these themes, the poem could offer a more profound and impactful exploration of the human condition.

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In my soul. I believe this was me a week ago Friday wanting to forget who I was and life in general. This was raw and honest. Well done.

Hello, Tawny,
Just into the first stanza, I thought there were quite a lot of cliches. But reading further, I think the first stanza was a significant intro to the mood and tone of the entire poem. I might split the last line to make its appearance consistent with the rest of the poem. Perhaps "from" an empty bottle to replace "of." Definitely under the influence.
Thank you!
L

Congratulations on your win!! Very well deserved :)

Best,
hippiemoon