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MORNING AMONG THE TOWERS ( minor edit )

Amid the canyons made of steel
a world completely without green
where nature has been brought to heel
still, subtle beauty can be seen

Just prior to morning's sunrise
only sound is distant diesel's rumble
in quickly lightening predawn skies
you can watch white contrails crumble

Tall towers' glasses now reveal
the first lances of the morning light
lending a sharp crystalline feel
to an otherwise stark, sterile sight

Saffron cirrus clouds appear
horse tails in a sky now blue
the day's first pigeons flying near
salt and peppering its muted hue

A street cleaner adds its muffled roar
leaving pavements clean and wet
the sun rises a little more
but hasn't reached the roads quite yet

Now all is still save a stray cat
on a random private quest
seeking a hand out or a rat
to have for morning breakfast guest

The light now reaches wet, washed streets
to make them sparkle like black glass
turning oily water to rainbow treats
' fore the damp beauties dry and pass

Stark sharp edged shadows start to crawl
along drab faces no longer dim
a peregrine flies high and small
what must we look like to him ?

Now crowds appear like colored cattle
along with limos, cabs, and cars
the ells and subways rush and rattle
peace forgotten like now vanished stars

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
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Review Request (Direction): 
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How was my language use?
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Editing stage: 

Comments

or should that be MOURNING AMONG THE TOWERS! Nice creative conception around the loss of the humane in modernity!
Cheers

Bonitaj

why thank you Bonitaj, it's always good to see you have dropped by..........scribbler

author comment

I thought that was a WONDERFUL description of a city awakening...

You have described in great detail the sequence of events from the first glimpse of daylight to the start of hustle bustle in the streets of the metropolis as people start off their day...

Loved the way you caught the shadows of towers moving across each other and then down to the street as the sun reaches the freshly washed street... the moir effect of light bouncing off an oily water film...

Thank you for sharing this delightful piece.

Psyve

and thank you for leaving such a kind comment...........scribbler

author comment

I think most people like when my poems finally end lol..............stan

author comment

Lovely imagery - it felt as if I was there. You kept the standard up all the way through - just brilliant Stan.

Would have got a nom from me

Word smith of the year!!

This - so far - is my favourite poem of yours

Love Mand xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I got to thinking folks might think I'd never been in a large city, so as usual I wrote what I've seen. I am glad that you liked this......stan

author comment

On the planet's dark side, and here I am, reading this, already seeing and greeting and feeling the dawn.
"Now vanished" should be hyphenated?

I need to read this again, when dawn really breaks, so I can enjoy both.

Most excellent.

Respectfully, Jim

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo

Thank Jim. I expect this is much better read by people half asleep lol......scribbler

author comment

Just wanted folks to know that I'm not a " nature snob " but realize beauty is everywhere if we just bother to look.Always nice to see you've dropped by Lonnie........stan

author comment
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