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Mid Life Crisis

In the middle of my life, I awakened
My soul smelled of leather and brittle grass
Sun dried by loitering and simple inattention

The unseen currents from years of self absolution,
Trifling in each instance, but powerful when joined
Had secretly pushed me out to sea

How pitiful
To be convicted by mere common sense
Sent to stand in front of the jury in the mirror

How alarming
To come face to face
With the lazy liar that had stolen so much

But, the hour was still early enough
Darkness had not yet come and
There was still time to make for the distant shore

Across the vast expanse of gathering waves
Buried in the muffled voice of ever approaching night
Drifts the wise warning…

Be careful what you feed your heart
It cannot be un-eaten

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
This is my first post and as I have no training in poetry at all, I would appreciate suggestions on all aspects of the poem.
Editing stage: 

Comments

Thank You Gemma,

Exposing oneself is never comfortable so I appreciate your enthusiasm toward the poem. I look forward to your more in-depth critique.

author comment

and another welcome to Neopoet.
Not only can I completely identify with your subject matter, I think you have delivered it wonderfully.
There is a natural flow to this and some great imagery.
You seem to write comfortably and with a succinct ease.
I'm really looking forward to reading some more of your work. Jx

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Remember we are a workshop site.
Don't forget to offer critique on poems you read.

Thank you Jane201660. Your sentiments are greatly appreciated. They give my courage to post more of my work.

author comment

Please do...... and don't forget to read others poems and offer your thoughts on them too.
PS - just call me Jane, my birth date is a bit longwinded and who needs to be reminded they are 56! :-) Jx

------------
Remember we are a workshop site.
Don't forget to offer critique on poems you read.

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