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I'm a little mermaid swimming in the sea
my hair is long,my bosom full I'm pretty as can be
anytime a sailor sees me he wants me for his wife
but I just laugh and swim away to live my care-free life

My skin is soft my scales are bright
they shine and glow in bright sun light
perhaps my favorite feature is my fulsome tail
which allows a speedy swim without any fail

In the great wide ocean there's little that I fear
but even I am careful to not let killer whales come near
imagine my surprise one day while eating abalone
a pod of them had gotten close to little tasty me!

So I took off like a shot and swam with all my might
no matter how I flipped my tail they always stayed in sight
as I tired the fastest one began to gain on me
to lose him in a kelp forest the only hope I see

'Fore I got there a burst of speed was put on by the whale
he got near enough to bite and eat a small bit of my tail !
rather than swim on I turned around and snapped at him instead
a foolish move 'cause he caught up and then bit off my head

So listen now to my advice and take it without fail
be careful not to lose your head over a piece tail

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
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'great scribble scribbler - what more can i say?

love judy

still laughing...........

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

Great to see one of your poems again. A lovely poem.

Love Lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

thanks lou. good to be back.......stan

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WISDOM!?! lol. Good to be able to bore ya'll again....stan

author comment

hi xena ,so good to see you again.I agree some are a bit long , but you know me I never consider a work finished......stan

author comment

Oh I laughed out loud at this one Scribbler,
you are also having fun with poetry like my Rats and Bats,
lovely this, with a bit of craziness and adventurous fantasy.

I am sure your would make a fine merman.

Rosina has a point!

Great fun Stan love from Ann.

"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.

I'm glad you got a laugh out of this, and be assured it will be reworked at some point......scribbler

author comment
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