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Memories

Memories form a cascade of magical treats
pooling as years around our feet
each one in danger of drowning in the mundane
secreted somewhere deep in our brain
fading in time
written in rhyme
hidden 'til we stop to reminisce
our little gems of happiness
treasure them always
there the good old days
remembrance of times past
a joy that lasts and lasts

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing stage: 

Comments

ah thanks a mil glad you enjoyed this little one look forward to yours tomorrow cheers sue x

author comment

what is going on in your life. not sure how to interpret this one.
Different style. I liked it

Hi thanks glad u enjoyed this little one hope your well cheers sueb x

author comment

I really liked this one but the end line for me felt stilted it lost its flow maybe you could say

remembrance of times past
a joy that lasts and lasts

and a joy that forever lasts

just one way you could take that line ... like Eph my favourite line was the pooling of years around our feet its a lovely line your certainly growing as a poet

Jayne-Chloe xxx

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

I had a look for your Judas Kiss poem but cant seem to find it am I going blind ?

or is it not posted ? LOL

Jayne-Chloe xxx

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

Hi Jc no I haven't posted its not great I just remembered that I had written one with that title but I'll put it up and everyone can hop on it lol cheers sueb x

author comment

This line...'a cascade of magical treats pooling as years around our feet'...great line!

Ells x

thanks Ells glad you like all the best Sueb x

author comment
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