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Memorial

Along the roads-
Memorials-
For the lost ones.

Handmade crosses planted,
Flowers fresh every Sunday,
In remembrance of those
Taken by
A curve
On a dark winding road-
Somebody’s daddy keeps it painted.

Services to those killed in attacks
To our country,
That one September morning.

Sympathy cards in the grocery store
Sitting askance on the shelf
Begging to be touched
Picked up
And read.

In the back window of dusty cars
That are traveling around
Are big initials
Below it in script reads
“Rest in Peace”

Church flowers given in memory

Every-

Sunday-

For those who have died.

So,
Where is the tombstone
For me to run
My finger along?

For me to feel
The cold marble?
To trace the dates up to thirty-four years-

Where is the plot
With my tree?
Where my tears
Water the soil?

Where’s the private space,
Where I mourn

My loss?

There is no commemoration for losing someone
Because you left them.

Or they lost their mind and you had to flee.

You don’t get that privilege.

You have to make your own space
Light your own candle
Burn those hurts
In a bonfire of your life’s debris.
Make your own shrine
Somehow move on.

Stop talking about it.
Stop thinking about it.
Pull it together.

So,
I will keep the blue glass pitcher
Sometimes putting flowers in it.
Keep a few dishes,
Keep a photograph
Placed under scarfs
In a drawer,
And take it out from time to time.

I will remember in my own way-
Every day that I had love,
Every day that I lost love,
And try not to be bitter,
And try to move through my grief,

Without a standard marker,

Without a bouquet,

But with faith and an open heart.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
Hi all, This is a poem I'm still working on that was written during my divorce. It isn't such a sensitive issue for me as it was, so please be honest and don't hold back because of the subject. I want to know if you understood what I was saying and if you got a sense of rhythm from my spacing. Thank you, Windflower
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Hiya windy.
You could have almost ended the piece after the second stanza and I would still have been impressed, though, the eventual meaning of your poem would address a different audience.

As is, it reads reeaally well, the rhythm, cadence, and poignancy are well defined.

All in all,,,,,,, Its a good 'un.

Obi.

Obi,
I appreciate your comments and your time.
Thank you!
Windflower

Windflower

author comment

I felt it! I've had the experience of divorce, but the circumstances were of my own making. Hard to admit. I have moved on and have had my [new] love for thirty-two years and counting. I have those little memories and pictures that are a part of those pasts. No matter... I felt you did very well in relating to the reader. The pacing was very good and made the whole thing resonate with emotion. I was not surprised that it took such a turn at the end, because you lead us right into it with such ease. Nice job! ~ Geezer.
.

It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

This is a lament for the dead. Well loved and remembered. The dead must have served in the country force but died in the active service. This poem sounds like Italian monody.
The memory of our loved ones lingers in our minds and thought. Those who have opportunity of going to the cemetery goes there to see their tomb and present flower as a symbol of love and remembrance.

Windflower has a good presentation here. Your choice of words are concrete. Good job Wind!

"Poetic license
gives
the poets
the free will to
embroider a good tale
and deviate from the established rules of language"~Jackweb

Onyinyechi,
It IS a dirge song, I'm glad you can see that. It is a dirge song for a lost marriage.
It is a lament on how when we lose someone to death the world approves of our many ways to mourn, but not if you lose someone to divorce! Although the end of a marriage is a death of a relationship.
Thank you for your comments. Windflower
P.S. I love your name- Does it mean 'Gift of God'?

Windflower

author comment
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