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Jun 08, 2024
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Magic
A falling star settled on my rose,
a diamond dipped in velvet clothes.
I dared not touch the pure gift
sent from heaven, so swift,
but let it rest there
in such sweet air
and comply
to my
wish.
— Lavender, Jun 08, 2024
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About This Poem
Last Few Words: A rhyming nonet.
Style/Type: Structured: Western
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Rough draft
Critiques
tyro
2 years 1 month ago
yes, it is magic, and pure
yes, it is magic, and pure beauty in a way, that it was not immediately touched, but simply admired for its beauty, brings in into the spiritual realm. Great image here. Fully enjoyed reading it.
Tyro
Lavender
2 years 1 month ago
Hello, Tyro,
I'm so glad you felt the spiritual essence here, and I'm happy that you enjoyed this!
Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts.
L
Rula
2 years 1 month ago
An amazing nonet
Line two has one beat more to make it a full nonet but it's en easy fix.
The fact that it rhymes makes it a real beauty.
Your magic shows clearly dear Lavender.
Very elegant as always
Thank you for sharing.
Lavender
2 years 1 month ago
Hello, My Friend!
Thank you for your lovely comments. I'm wondering if you are speaking of the number of syllables in "diamond." Some variants state 3, others state 2 syllables. I myself use 2 syllables: dia-mond. Please let me know if it's something else. I always appreciate your helping me with my work as I know you are a devoted fan of structured poetry.
Thank you, as always!
Lx
Rula
2 years 1 month ago
Sorry
dear Lavender.
My fault indeed. Yes, I count 3 syllables in diamond.
Lavender
2 years 1 month ago
Funny...
how some words can be pronounced differently. I am just tickled that you spend time with my work. I am always grateful!
Lxxx
Clentin Martin
2 years 1 month ago
Really liked your poem. Magic
Really liked your poem. Magic it is!
Liked the form as well.
Lavender
2 years 1 month ago
Hello, Clentin!
I am so happy that you enjoyed this. Structured poetry can be so fulfilling, and fun! I appreciate your time and comments!
L
RoseBlack
2 years 1 month ago
Love this
So simple and sweet yet absolutely captivating. I can see the little star sitting on a rose. Simple imagery says so much. Well done.
Lavender
2 years 1 month ago
Hello, Carrie,
It was intended to be a brief passing moment, just about how long it takes to make a wish.
Thank you for reading! I appreciate you!
Lx
Carrie
2 years ago
Hi Lavender
Saw this won, congratulations! :)
- Carrie
Lavender
2 years ago
Hello, Carrie,
Thank you so much! I appreciate it!
L
Words Ablaze
2 years ago
wow L
the poem on its own is beyond impressive, poetic innovation truly.
And to write it in that shortening line stunt is just showing off haha. Love it
W.
Lavender
2 years ago
Hello, W!
You are very kind! (A challenge is always a blast.)
Thank you for reading!
L
Wallyroo92
1 year 7 months ago
Magic
What a wonderful, visually rich piece, magical and surreal.
Awesome spill.
W
Lavender
1 year 7 months ago
Hello, W,
This was a lot of fun!
Thank you for reading!
L
Clentin Martin
1 year 6 months ago
Really liked the form.
Really liked the form.
Lavender
1 year 6 months ago
Hello, Clentin!
Thank you, and Happy New Year!
L
Michael Anthony
1 year 6 months ago
Hi L,
Hi L,
Lovely piece! I have no talent for rhyming or structured poetry (as you probably know), so when a poet creates something beautiful in this way I am frequently amazed - well done and enjoyable read - thank you!
Best
Lavender
1 year 6 months ago
Hello, Michael,
This was a joy to write. You are a master of free verse, especially observation and narrative poetry, and I believe you should dip into the rhyming pool, too. I very much admire your work.
Thank you for reading and commenting!
L
Michael Anthony
1 year 6 months ago
I don't know about being a
I don't know about being a master L, but you are very kind to offer that. Anytime I have a rhyme in a poem it's strictly an accident. I think I'll give it a try though just to see what I see with this sort of thing...
Best
Lavender
1 year 6 months ago
Hello, Michael,
I look forward to reading!
L
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