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As Love Is

As love is love once was beautiful and pure like the purest of springs in the valley untouched by man. As love is love once was pure of passion, desire and fire hotter than the most active volcano deep within the earth. As love is love once was trusting as a newborn babe being held for the first time in her mother‘s arms. As love is love once was as enduring as a simple forehead kiss and to be held tight without other intentions. As love is love once was the look of pure innocence in your eyes as we held each other close enough to inhale each others breath only wanting that moment to last because love is almost as as fleeting as a dream that we tried to remember in the morn. As love is love once was you and me passion, desire, friendship and honesty long before others turned our heads and whispered in our ears that our love was not enough! Untia B. 

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Last few words: 
Just enjoy remembering new love ❤️
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

At times a poem's form complements the poem's rhythm
through caesuras or sentence / line breaks of various length.

I would prefer this piece to be like this:

As love is love once was beautiful
and pure like the purest of springs in the valley untouched by man.

As love is love once was pure of passion, desire and fire hotter than the most active volcano deep within the earth.

As love is love once was trusting as a newborn babe being held for the first time in her mother‘s arms.

As love is love once was as enduring as a simple forehead kiss and to be held tight without other intentions.

As love is love once was the look of pure innocence in your eyes as we held each other close enough to inhale each others breath only wanting that moment to last

because love is almost as as fleeting as a dream that we tried to remember in the morn.

As love is love once was you and me passion, desire, friendship and honesty long before others turned our heads and whispered in our ears that our love was not enough!

I like your artistic expressions. (Exquisite)!

"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".

~Jackweb

welcome to Neopoet, it is very nice to meet you. I think Onyinechi is right about about the structure of your piece. you need punctuation which would help with the timing, you need to have pauses, not a blurting out. as is, the lines just all run together. for example:

As love is(,) love once was beautiful and pure like the purest of springs in the valley(,) untouched by man(.) and so on... read the poem out loud and you should hear where the natural paused are.

always, Cat

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Nice piece.

I do not pretend to understand the form tho. I've read a bunch of it, however I've no clear vision of the style.

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