getting better and better! I can see that his tastes run to Necrophilia, and he will stop at nothing to have his way with Lorraine. ~ Good work! ~ Gee

Although I am still a little confused about WHAT Damien actually is, there is no ignoring the launch of a complication here. A love story. How sweet... in a horrific, terrifying Damien sort of way.
I noticed a change from first person singular to the omnipotent narrator and wondered if the change in format was to make that transition easier. I don't see a problem in it though I would've have done it differently. My approach would have used quotation marks when Damien was narrating, but always remember that I'm bloody well stick in the mud traditionalist. Were this a piece of prose I would say you were slitting your own throat (or Damien was), but poetry SHOULD be non conformist.
I didn't like the transition from part one to part two. There is too much of a lurch between your exposition on Damien and the complication discussion of his "Sweet Lorraine" (I'm a Nat King Cole fan, you probably don't even get the reference).
Here's something to think about that will probably make you mad at me, but those four components? They exist not only in the story as a whole, but also in lesser degree in every scene, every story arc, everything. Each chapter of a book will have an exposition, complication, climax and resolution. Every conversation by two or more characters will have the same. Think of them as atoms. Four of them together make an opening scene. Four scenes using them make a chapter, four chapters using them make a section of a book... does that make sens?.
Maybe you could consider smoothing the transition out, but I'm on my way to part three. I think I would like this Damien if I had more character to play with.
wesley

... is the one who gets close to his victim. I'm late on part three, but will rectify that today. wesley

Quite an interesting story line, the punctuation needs some
attention but other than that it is very good. I do think some of
the spaces were unneeded in the beginning of this one, but a
couple of them could really pound the importance of the line.

I like the simplicity of your title: "Lorraine", as the poem is about the obsession for, and future posession of this lovely woman.

I glory in the imagery, such as: the lines about the ruby necklace, like brops of blood gracing a delicate, graceful neck. and these lines stand out:

His sanctuary is the crematory
realization of being alone fell around him
just as the cloak he wore

Even Damien's midnight soul (absolutely delicious!)

Returning to the crematory
Damien began to plot his strike
and arrange his bridal suite
within the walls of his sanctuary

The imagery is tantalizing and only serves to make me want MORE... LOL!
I like the way you seperated the sections, like halving an orange. Great going here! You truly know how to set the hook!

always, eddy styx (& cat)

I wish I had a magic wand. wesley