June

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:

The poem's strongest moments are its most particular ones. "Clay bleeding," the squash courts gossiping, calm horses saluting, red kites escorting — these earn their place because they carry sensory and spatial weight specific to this place and this person. The line "She walked like she was scared but she wasn't. She sounded nervous but it was a beautiful trap" is the emotional core of the poem, and it lands because it captures something true and a little surprising about a person rather than describing feeling directly.

The weaker passages are where the poem reaches for warmth through accumulation of pleasant nouns rather than through image: "clotted cream and John Lewis," "sea and sand, / Orange squash and sun cream," and "Mum and Dad" feel like shorthand that the reader is asked to fill in rather than material the poem has rendered. The final line, "I will never forget June in Leeds," states the poem's subject rather than completing it, and the work has already demonstrated it remembers — the line is unnecessary and slightly deflates what came before. Cutting it, or replacing it with something as concrete and unexpected as the horses or the red kites, would leave the poem ending at its own level of achievement.

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I am okay with having to fill in the blanks. I do agree that you can leave off the last line, but I'm not all up about it. I like it. Geezer.

 I have the idea about "clay bleeding", but I'm not sure. Since there are squash courts and the like, I am taking a leap and going to say that it has something to do with the clay tennis courts?   
I like the conversational tone, [and being a bit partial to it myself] will tell you that it works whether you rhyme or not. I think you should develop your style as you write. I like it as it is, just don't get too carried away with the short-hand; remember that you are trying to reach out to your audience. Yeah, let them fill in a few blanks, but don't get too esoteric. I know you will blossom here, look around, take a chance,  reach out to someone you enjoy reading. Comment, you will find the rewards are many, Welcome to Neo. ~ Geezer.