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insight (sonnet WS)

some say we’re just a freak of nature’s growth
that sentience is solely due to this
and rational, scientific brains are loath
to even contemplate a future bliss

they say that when we die we’re finished, past
from dust we come and so to dust return
there’s nothing in this world that’s made to last
and truth beyond, we simply can't discern

although, it’s true, from here has gone his spark
while sat in tranquil introspective thought
his love has borne me down that tunnel dark
and peaceful, blest illumination brought

I’ve met him where the mind and soul collides
my heart’s aware still he, somewhere, abides

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
sorry - I don't mean to flood the WS, but this dragged me out of bed last night in its insistance to be put down... i promise, this will be my last....
Editing stage: 

Comments

a question. can you help me figure out the stressed parts in "introspective"? I thought it sounds like this "in/TROSPEC/tive" but in http://dictionary.reference.com/ its "in-truh-SPEK-tiv". not sure if the word alligns with the iambic form. Maybe I'm wrong. I don't know which is the right one.

Alid

IN -truh -SPECT -ive is how I have always said it
I checked the dictionary when I read your comment... seems that the 'in' isn't stressed - but I am making it so for this sonnet, as I feel it is said with a certain stress..
and it reads as such to me...

Thanks
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

I just wanna clear things out.

Alid

please bear with me. Just a busy weekend. Have to get out with the kids.
Hopefully will come to it tonight. I hope others will give it a visit as well.

YOUR THOUGHTS SHARKS ARE APPRECIATED (not shouting, just thinking) (((smiles)))

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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I liked the poetry and the theme. As for sonnet, I am not qualified to comment since I am not at all comfortable with this form.

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

I've seen you write iambic pentameter...
And, also, I know you know what a sonnet is :)

I'm very glad you liked this
Thank you
Love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

I have tried one more time and expressed what obsession is doing for me...rather getting me undone...lol..

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

I wished the sharks will come and tear this to chum, but seems they just like me found this so beautiful and touching to be torn. I love the amount of the emotion you've put here and I could feel the overwhelming feelings of losing someone special in each word and line.

I'd say I encountered a problem with one line with half a foot more

"and rational, scientific brains are loath"

I especially loved the couplet, very memorable.

Thanks for sharing dear.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
www.instgram.com/rularules1

or 'scientific?

rational - can be one or two syllables, and I pronounce it with two
scientific - sahy -uh n TIF -ic - but I have always pronounced the first syllable stressed

much the same as with Alid's picking up 'introspective', I really think I can have these.... ??

thank you for the lovely comment Rula
lol - maybe the sharks simply don't like my sonnets

love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

rational is at least three syllables :) :)
and scientific is four
it really depends on how many vowel sounds are there.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
www.instgram.com/rularules1

that ' rational' is one of those words that can be said either way - with two or three syllables - rash -uh -nl ... rash -nl
I checked it before I used it :)
I have always said it with two - and I think most Aussies do...

And yes, no argument here 'scientific' has four

Love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

Aussies are economical people.
You have proved it more than once :) Lol

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
www.instgram.com/rularules1

And people who speak English will always look for ways to shorten words. Think of nicknames.
I believe if you put one hundred people in a room and ask them to say "rational" they would use three syllables, but have them use it a sentence and I think the most would use only two.
I use the fewest syllables possible in most of my poetry.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

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should invite me to your part of the world for a couple of months, then I would say rational in two syllables only. :) (((Kidding)))

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
www.instgram.com/rularules1

I'll teach you 'Strine

g'day mate (good day mate)
carn team (come on team)
shelby right (it will be alright)
yu gotta be kiddinme (you must be having me on)

lol
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

I've heard it said with 2 syllables : RASH nul. HEY! Did I just actually make a contribution to this shop??? lol

I missed your contribution
Lol - thank you

Love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

No surprise after today if you tell me that "rational" is a zero syllabic word HAHAHA
Thank you for the invitation though. I really would love to. One day maybe? Who knows?!

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
www.instgram.com/rularules1

It isn't ??
Bummer
lol
Love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

This is a great sonnet - love the subject and the ending. Being no expert at sonnet's I can only say it all looks good to me - I found the comments interesting too. Did'nt realise that some words are considered either 2 / 3 syllables - that's something to keep an eye on for me.

:)

Love Mand xxxx

for the lovely comment

yes - that's what I love about neopoet - everybody learrns something, as long as we have conversations

love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

a little confuse with the words with "2", "3" syllables in the comments. Is it because of the different slang?

Alid

but some words can be expressed quickly
'rational' is more often pronounced rashnal when in a sentence, and it has become accepted pronunciation. So much so, that the dictionary will tell you it can be said with two or three syllables

As Wes said - say it on its own, and one tends to use three syllables 'rash -an -al', but if said in a sentence, it tends to be skipped over and made into the two

there are quite a few words that follow this idiosyncracy..
hope this helps explain

love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

(I'm watching a really cool lecture series on writing from antiquity to modernity, so I have lots of new phrases I don't really understand).
Words are constantly evolving, like whales returning to the sea they are in the process of becoming something else. In some words it is active and obvious like "rational". English speakers are still figuring this one out right before our eyes whereas some words are stuck in a rut like "non". No has been pretty much the same in Northern European languages for a time. Some centuries.
Much of this, of course, is determined geographically. We are still, even today, a bunch of little villages with our own way of doing things.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about

but syllables
my blooming mind can't churn
so many times the midnight oil did i burn
but sad to say
my mind was burnt

Persevere, you'll get it
Love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

who love to teach
mostly u Judy
all others ah!

I like the sonnet. But if I have critique, it is the flow of S3. I feel it has been compromised for meter.

Thanks,

Scott

I'm still an amateur...
Thanks for the read and very correct critique
Any suggestions?
Love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment
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