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Imprisoned in my past
My eyes can see,
My wills are free,
There were never any chains,
On my hands nor feet,
I traveled many miles,
Both on land and sea,
But how free is a man,
Whose soul has long been sealed.
My present is a dream,
My future is a wish,
My past is the prison,
Where I truly lived.
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
Editing stage:
Contest:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Jackweb
Tue, 2023-01-10 07:48
Well understood!
Then you need to break the chain of the past out of your mind. Your mind, thoughts have the capacity to get you trapped! Forget what had happened before. Brace up, keep your shoulders high. Don't relent! You have a future to explore. Don't get it truncated! Let the past bury its dead. Your future is colorful and bright!
.
"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".
~Jackweb
Hussainy
Thu, 2023-01-12 18:37
Woww thank you so much
Woww thank you so much
author commentRosewood Apothecary
Tue, 2023-01-10 19:15
Great
Good theme, and excellent pattern and pacing.
Whose soul have long been sealed.
Change have to has.
That is the only correction I can see.
Nice job,
Tim
Hussainy
Thu, 2023-01-12 18:38
OK thank you I really
OK thank you I really appreciate
author comment