Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

I would go back

To the day,
I saw you,
For the first time.

I would go back.
And,make sure,
I looked in another direction.

I fantasize,
Maybe, that day,
I was stuck,
In traffic.

I took a different way to work.

Now,my Love,for you
Is etched on my soul
My body
....yeah,those times,you beat me,
Still ache.


When you kick me.
When you punch me.
Are you actually trying,to fix me?

Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
Opt-in: Neopoet AI will critique your poem.


The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

It is not feasible to offer feedback.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to

of your intent, but I think that you are trying to create a pause between each word?
I think that maybe if you just spaced the words another space between them,
it would serve the purpose and look less messy.

I hope this isn't or wasn't a personal situation,
but I think you are smart enough to figure out
it's not a normal one. I love the lines:

" When you kick me.
When you punch me.
Are you actually trying,to fix me?"

Yeah, they often think that it's a good method to teach her how to act.

Good luck with the contest!
~ Geezer.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

The spaces reflect how my mind works.

Sometimes, it's a tad fractured.


author comment

For me, the pacing and spacing is very deliberate
I think it seems messy,
I've always loved how ee Cummings used to confuse me.

Then I'd have to read every line,

Again and again.

I think I want to create a style of my own.
Still working on it.

Thank you for the feedback.


author comment
(c) No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.