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Hot Summer Nights...
Went to Woodstock baby
hot summer nights out there
It rained and we made mud-pies
[we got muddy everywhere]
Fast cars and faster women
coming down the pike
I had a few of both
and a Honda motorbike
On hot summer nights I partied
some I went too far
I passed out a lot beneath
velvet skies all shot with stars
The sweet smell of Maryjane
floated on the air
Her scent intoxicating
took away your cares
And hot summer nights
with a moon of molten gold
are what is left to me
as I am growing old
Dreams of what I used to be
haunt me even yet
Memories of youth, it seems
as we age, is what we get
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
Contest:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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New York State - USA
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Poe, Emily Dickenson, Robert Frost, Shakespeare, and many of the poets here at Neopoet.
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Comments
neopoet
Tue, 2023-08-08 18:40
Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "Hot Summer Nights..." is a nostalgic reflection on the past, specifically the speaker's youthful experiences at Woodstock. The use of vivid imagery and sensory language effectively conveys the atmosphere of those times. For example, the "moon of molten gold" and "velvet skies all shot with stars" create a vivid, almost tangible, picture of the summer nights.
However, the poem could benefit from a more consistent rhythm and rhyme scheme. The irregularity of the rhythm and rhyme can be distracting and disrupts the flow of the poem. For instance, the second stanza has a different rhyme scheme (ABCC) than the first and third stanzas (ABAB), which could be confusing for the reader.
Furthermore, the poem could delve deeper into the speaker's emotions and thoughts. While the poem effectively describes the speaker's experiences, it could provide more insight into how these experiences have shaped the speaker. This could add more depth and complexity to the poem.
Lastly, the use of cliches such as "fast cars and faster women" and "sweet smell of Maryjane" could be replaced with more original and specific descriptions. This would make the poem more unique and engaging for the reader.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
Ruby Lord
Tue, 2023-08-08 14:09
Loved it Geezer. Your rhyming
Loved it Geezer. Your rhyming and pace are excellent and carried me through the poem from start to end. Something I had to guess, MaryJane I presume is some sort of social relaxant? Well done, it was great, Ruby :)
Give and grow - let's raise our verses together. I'm happy to comment on your work and appreciate a comment on mine.
Geezer
Wed, 2023-08-09 11:32
You really...
don't know Maryjane? Her proper name is Marijuana! Other monikers are: Weed, Grass, Pot etc. I started back in '68.
Thanks for your read and comments. I look forward to them. ~ Geez.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
author commentRuby Lord
Wed, 2023-08-09 11:35
I know what weed is but I've
I know what weed is but I've never heard it called Mary Jane before, it must be the great divide ha ha. I tried it once and I wasn't impressed, maybe someone gave me a fake smoke, anything was possible. Ruby :)
Give and grow - let's raise our verses together. I'm happy to comment on your work and appreciate a comment on mine.
Geezer
Wed, 2023-08-09 12:01
Some people...
never do get what it is all about. That's okay, I don't try to convince them, anymore than I want people to convince me that certain things are good, like sushi or avocados. [Shiver]. And you are right, could be that someone gave you fake stuff. Anyway, BIG smiles:) Geez.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
author commentCelso G. Tertins
Wed, 2023-08-09 08:03
hot summer nights certainly
hot summer nights certainly has a knack for making memorable moments and you've fully encapsulated that very feeling in this piece. well done!
Geezer
Wed, 2023-08-09 11:34
Thank you...
Nice to see you, hope you left us something. I've missed your writes. ~ Geezer.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
author commentObadiah Grey
Wed, 2023-08-09 12:21
Wellll, as ever, you need no
Wellll, as ever, you need no advice on rhyme or metre.
Methinks perhaps we hath trod a similar path t'wards dotage!
Cheers, Obi.
Geezer
Wed, 2023-08-09 12:29
I have...
a day planner. Kinda like a play-date?
Geez.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
author commentLavender
Wed, 2023-08-09 19:22
Hot Summer Nights
Hello, Geezer,
This is so good - brings a huge smile to my face.
L