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Hermetic

thought is as the wide endless firmament
the anima of void

creation as the clouds
formulating and dissipating throughout forever
painting sorrows and joys

i think therefore i am
existing in perpetuum within my own thought -
my own heaven or hell

and throughout the boundless empyrean of ideation
in this billowing vapour that is elapsing illusion
my spirit has free reign

but, no matter where the now
as the clouds cannot mark nor taint the sky
so, too, nothing manifested can stain my soul

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

I Love this poem,,,I want more!, I
was just getting into it, and it ended,
I love the journey it takes one on, great write

thanks so much for reading
i'm really glad you like it
i don't do free verse very often - am challenging myself to move away from classic for a while
so i'm really glad you liked it - lol - did i already say that?
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

Whatever style you set your hand to comes out pure gold. The only thing I wasn't crazy about is the title. It seemed a bit clinical for such a lovely write. Loved these lines, especially:

and throughout the boundless empyrean of ideation
in this billowing vapour that is elapsing illusion
my spirit has free reign

but, no matter where the now
as the clouds cannot mark nor taint the sky
so, too, nothing worldly can stain my soul

always, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

i agree with you
the write changed somewhat from where i started
and lol - i forgot to change the title

any suggestions?
- i haven't really thought on it, but i will, and i will definitely change it

thank you for your very kind words about my write
lol - i'm still editing though
kept thinking there was some connection missing
i think i have it now

love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

To fully digest this masterpiece

I shall have to visit the Google dictionary...
to enlighten me
great words i haven't imbibed
till as of now

empyrean of ideation....

is this a newly coined word ideation?

loved

even if i was lifted to the highest heavens of ideas i don't think i could coin words as these loved :)

thank you for the lovely loved comment
hugs
judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

had some one made a similar comment
I'd lay prostrate in utmost reverence...
you are that distinct star
over here .....a twinkling one ..
from far ....
but a solid diamond one
ma'am you definitely are.....

loved

you are too kind
thank you
xxxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

Your title has been around since man made the definition of the difference between him and the Animal kingdom..He use to in the old days think that animals were incapable of thought...
There you go, can't recall who said it first, but it is the fact that we think is the thing.. A great write on the rest of the poem with much gusto, though as they have said the title is maybe a cliché...
As Descartes famously put it “I think, therefore I am”, an assertion that has come to be known as the cogito. Certainly the cogito doesn’t seem like something that can be doubted, but if we are really to rely on it we should be certain that its truth can be divorced from Descartes’ philosophy. Here then I will attempt to reconstruct the cogito, as something that cannot be doubted, using a modern philosophical approach
.The phrase became a fundamental element of Western philosophy, as it was perceived to form a foundation for all knowledge.
While other knowledge could be a figment of imagination, deception or mistake, the very act of doubting one's own existence serves to some people as proof of the reality of one's own existence, or at least that of one's thought.
Ian.T thinks Only God Knows what that means LOL, Yours Yenti

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

as i said to cat - this write started of as something else completely, and then as it evolved i forgot to change the title - and it so obviously detracts from the text of the poem
i have renamed it now and would love to hear some opinions

love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

Much more than a heterogenious collection of syllabaic utterences. Well, that about uses up My collection of big words lmao. I liked the idea of sitting off from oneself.............stan PS now you have inspired me to write with a similar title

thanks for the read and comments
they are greatly appreciated
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

i don't know if it is a deliberate attempt on your part to have a very strong ending to your poems but that's what struck me reading two of them back to back...

but, no matter where the now
as the clouds cannot mark nor taint the sky
so, too, nothing worldly can stain my soul

for me these lines lift your write several notches...not surprising though..since you are a seasoned writer...

much love..

raj (sublime_ocean)

i often if not always try to make the ending the memorable bit
i'm not sure why i do - probably a left over from the joke principle with its punch line

thanks for the read and the very kind comments
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

I came back for another read through... nice changes. One question: Why the cap on Forever?

love, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

as for the caps on 'creation', but only on one of the 'thought's :)
thanks for the re-read cat
love you
hugs
judy
xxxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

airy fairy homespun bullshit philosophy/theology whatever.

But great poetry to the feeble-minded.

the anima of void
so what is the animus of void?

I think I would dislike it less if you lost all the caps.

The new title is better sounding than the old, but implies close-mindedness.
If I had written this it would have been from a mind dripping with irony.

Actually I like it, you are a master word-crafter. I'm just being a bastard because I saw no real critical response to content.
Would like the last line better if it were phrased less pretentiously, perhaps something like
this world can't stain my soul.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

thanks jess
i had a lot of trouble with it - it doesn't say what i wanted to
never mind

the animus of void? - i think it is the 'airy little animal that runs around lost in my 'ead :)

and, just for you, i will lose the caps :)

thanks again
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

tell me, either here or by PM what you wanted to say, and see if I can write the poem.
whatayareckon?

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

'i think therefore i am
existing in perpetuum within my own thought -
my own heaven or hell'

to try and debunk the idea of organised religion and the fact we let others tell us lies we should know are such
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment
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