Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

"Haute Cuisine"...

The woman and her boyfriend
were looking for a mark
A robust, dark and handsome man
was sitting in the park

Killer disappointed
no vacant hotel rooms
sat on the bench and brooded
Whistled tuneless tunes

His baggage in a pile
all around his feet
marked him for a fish
these two cats could eat

Hey Monsieur, you look so glum
what’s the matter here?
Killer says; I’ve got no room
and I really need a beer

These Siamese-cats who wore berets
were delighted to assist
Soon they all were introduced
The woman’s hand upon his wrist

The house that they were renting
was more than they would need
Killer had to stay with them
His host and hostess plead

I am a chef, Killer said
Let me cook the meals for you
I’m sure you’ll be real satisfied
If in fact you do

But sure, we do agree
you can cook for us
Tonight is special, our first night
no need to make a fuss

Just some snacks; we just ate
Hor’derves with bread and wine
We have a pate of liver, bread
That should do just fine

Killer saw the potion
they put into his glass
He’d brought his own out too
and dosed those Frenchie’s ass

Pretending that he sipped away
while making toast and liver spreads
He waited ‘till they both were out
before he bashed their heads

Cut the leg from Monsieur Tommy
Got the crock-pot out
Filled it half with water
from the kitchen spout

Onions, carrots and celery
Black pepper and tomato paste
Garlic, thyme and cayanne
Just enough to taste

While the crock-pot simmered
He cut tender breast real thin
rolled it up with spinach
Tied it tight with skin

Dropped into the fryer
They browned, and then they cooked
He thought about her scent
how her eyes had looked

Well now, the villa has a freezer
They won’t go to waste
The rent is paid for all the month
It suits old Killer’s taste

They tried to trap and take him
but now, they are the food
Killer didn’t like them much
Poison is so rude!

The crock-pot was all bubbling
Killer cleaned the kitchen table
French t.v. is interesting
He watched the all-nude cable

The evening was a big success
Killer got his place to stay
The food here is so excellent
Frenchmen cooked this way!

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
Tried to find an appropriate French sounding title but just couldn't with my very limited French. How about Cie le vie? Is that how it's spelled?
Editing stage: 

Comments

Just an idea I think thats what you meant ... I really liked this one it reminded me of a movie I had seen but cant for the life of me remember what it was called I think I own it I will have to do a search, its driving me mad lol

there are a few lines that could be cut down for flow purposes but other than that its another *killer* write smiles

love and higgliest bugs JC xxx

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

what I meant! I will look at this to see where I might pare it down. I knew that someone would know that phrase, thanks. ~ Love and higgest bugs, ~ Gee

The addition of a premium-membership can:
Help you navigate the site easier, change and create the look of your profile-page!
Just see what you can do! Add a bit of flavor to your profile and kick it up a notch!

author comment

an image especially the breats bit ugh
but how fantastic a poem
for the not so faint hearted

everyone to like Killer. There are others here that while not offended by him, don't share the enthusiasm of some that like him. I never mean to hurt anyone's feelings and try hard to abide by the rules of conduct here with the content. If you are ever offended by anything you see in one of my works, just let me know, and I will address the issue with all speed. Thanks for your comments, ~ Geezer

The addition of a premium-membership can:
Help you navigate the site easier, change and create the look of your profile-page!
Just see what you can do! Add a bit of flavor to your profile and kick it up a notch!

author comment

But I guess it's like reading about things that are awful. you want to continue but wish you can stop

glad that you were not too shook up. Yes, Killer tales are supposed to be powerful; I use them to take care of the things that really piss me off. Of course, I am not above taking poetic-license with some of the tales, but most of them have a basis in fact. I see a situation that ticks me off and there goes Killer, to take care of the perp! Killer has evolved some since his inception, a few years ago. He has a peculiar humor, that can be somewhat dispassionate and therefore very primal and crude. I use Killer to deal with my anger issues and he provides us with the excitement of a gruesome tale. What could be better?
Thanks again, ~ Geezer

The addition of a premium-membership can:
Help you navigate the site easier, change and create the look of your profile-page!
Just see what you can do! Add a bit of flavor to your profile and kick it up a notch!

author comment

A bit like Rushdie's midnights children

I wish I had thought of that one! I think that is a perfect title for it. Thanks, ~ Gee

The addition of a premium-membership can:
Help you navigate the site easier, change and create the look of your profile-page!
Just see what you can do! Add a bit of flavor to your profile and kick it up a notch!

author comment

Alex enjoyed this too, good storytelling.

Overall the scansion is fine, only two lines made me stumble and it's not the scansion it's the sound and structure.
had more room than they would need
and
If only that you do

Have you read the novels of Andrew Vachs? I think you would like them. About a criminal, off the radar, sort of PI who hunts down perpetrators and perpetrates on them. I love them.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Managing Directors, with Richard (themoonman)

look at those two lines. We are so glad that you and Alex like the adventures of Killer. I've been working hard at giving Killer new things to do. He's currently working on collecting new recipes and visiting different countries.
I do believe that I have read at least one of Andrew Vachs' novels. The name sounds familiar and so does the theme. Thanks for your input on this one, I will go over those lines. ~ Gee

The addition of a premium-membership can:
Help you navigate the site easier, change and create the look of your profile-page!
Just see what you can do! Add a bit of flavor to your profile and kick it up a notch!

author comment

to feed my intel. Mr Killer, if you're reading this you know we have our eyes on you. you can't escape my Mind Visions. If you and your friends come close to us, I promise it will be a wild dance you'll remember. When two predators meet, only one will survive.

Grace Tan

his own, as you must plainly see.
He doesn't look for trouble, but if it finds him...
Anyways, if you like "Long Pig' you must join us for a barbecue this summer! ~ Gee

The addition of a premium-membership can:
Help you navigate the site easier, change and create the look of your profile-page!
Just see what you can do! Add a bit of flavor to your profile and kick it up a notch!

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.