Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Flow

Submitted by Kristen H. on Sat, 2023-02-04 19:27

This
blank sheet
of paper is all I’ve
ever known
beauty
potential
emptiness
lying in wait for someone
to come along
and
make
something
out of nothing
to create
a work
of art
with
paint or
lead or words.

Words
that flow
from my pen
to the worn pages
of this ratty old notebook.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
Enjambment and shape create the visual flow of this poem. The wording and spaces are purposeful.
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Contest: 
Neopoem Of The Week February 5th to February 11th 2023
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Lavender

Sat, 2023-02-04 19:48

Lavender's picture
Volunteer badge

Hello, Kristen,
Nice! I feel the excitement to create! You may want to leave off the "and" in the 6th and 7th lines. May I ask why the caps in the last stanza? There is nothing like a ratty old notebook to an avid writer.
Thank you,
Lavender

Kristen H.

Sat, 2023-02-04 19:55

Kristen H.'s picture

I honestly didn't even notice that they were capitalized at the end. My word doc must've done that on its own as I was typing it out. Thanks for the tip about the ands! Let me go fix that really quick. I hope you enjoyed the poem!

author comment

Lavender

Sat, 2023-02-04 20:03

Lavender's picture
Volunteer badge

I enjoyed it very much!
L

Kristen H.

Sat, 2023-02-04 20:24

Kristen H.'s picture

I'm so glad you liked it ❤️

author comment

Rosewood Apothecary

Sun, 2023-02-05 06:48

Rosewood Apothecary's picture
Volunteer badge

I do FB and Instagram postings of my notebook when I write in it (I mostly write on my phone now). My aunt felt an old 5 subject notebook was not attractive enough a carrier for my words and she gifted me two leather bound journals embossed with the Celtic tree of life with a stone of polished malachite at the heart. It is the most precious of physical gifts I’ve ever received.

I found the deliberate spacing difficult to adhere to the first pass. I think because I’m a musician and my brain is constantly searching for patterns, rhythm and melody. On the second read I remembered you’re driving the vehicle and I chilled out. Much smoother that time.

Tim

Kristen H.

Sun, 2023-02-05 19:51

Kristen H.'s picture

What a beautiful gift to receive! I found it difficult to write as it was, but reading it fluidly as I wrote it helped to smooth it out. It still needs some work in my opinion. I tried to make the lines roll like waves but it's more choppy than I'd hoped. I'm going to keep working on it.

author comment

Geezer

Sun, 2023-02-05 12:40

Geezer's picture
Volunteer badge

that this at first reads like the notebook is speaking, which makes me wonder why you suddenly change to [my pen].
However, after reading it a number of times, I decided, [like Tim] to just enjoy the work and go with it. ~ Geezer.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Kristen H.

Sun, 2023-02-05 19:53

Kristen H.'s picture

I hadn't thought of it like that. Writing from the POV of a notebook is how it feels now that I've read it again. I might have to roll with that when I come back to edit this. I know the flow of the poem is sort of difficult to grasp. I swear it sounded better in my head and it looked better on paper...

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.