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The First Poem

Everything seemed alright
I mean staring back at my empty papers, make it alright.
Wanting the papers to build like a Custer, so the words could build like a roller coaster
And coast it’s rails down the path we call hope.
Hope is our desire, our desire to do some so much more but not even be on key.
To be something that is much smarter than me.
To be something that kids look up to
To be someone you can’t even see yourself as
Isn’t that what you call hope?

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
This is my first poem, so you just say what you want!
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content


Hello, mocha.mare,
Welcome to Neopoet! Intriguing poem - it feels as if those empty papers staring back at you will soon be filled with words expressing the desire to do more and be more, thus offering hope. I'm sure you've heard before that the only person you need to better than, is the person you were yesterday. Your poem searches outward, but there is also a nice introspective focus. I like your title - hopefully it is the first of many! I look forward to reading more!
Thank you!

I bet you, soon, the pages of life will be filled with your great ink. Nice piece.

Bathe yourself with poetry and let the world go to pieces.

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