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Like Fingers
Those fingers are not like my family’s fingers.
And it’s okay, we even voice different,
never mind the language
Small trivial
air-weight vessels.
But it’s interesting, watching…
Subjectively perceiving a blended image
The most real of dreams
Ones not fast forgotten
And how this affects everything:
It’s in the milk
it’s in the butter,
now
we eat it with strawberries.
For ever,
now. It is forever-now.
My eyes,
can be seen
watching, as with fallible grace,
the hand holds the glimmering silver spoon.
Sunshine shading and illuminating the creases of the skin.
The beauty of all of this balanced imperfection
and how it all breathes within itself.
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
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Comments
swamp-witch
Thu, 2014-04-17 13:28
Hello Bloodstone,
I think this is a very poignant poem about family and love and loyalty. I was thinking that love and loyalty could be "like fingers" because they hold things together. Is my interpretation correct?
You words are refreshing and I have one small critique, if you don't mind: on line two, I would suggest changing "different" to "differently".
This poem is an abstract journey that I enjoyed embarking on!
Critique, don't comment.
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Bloodstone
Sun, 2014-04-27 20:28
Hi there!
Hehehe.. sorry, yeah. It's funny that your one crit is on a line about how we voice things.
You are right though - I'm not sure if my use of 'different' is just the way we talk around here or just my own abuse of the English:P Now that it's been pointed out I think I'll keep it like it is!
Trying to keep this explanation-of-sorts to a few sentences:
The feeling is of bonds, like fingers, intertwined, affecting each other... about how our perceptions influence our perceptions... I know, right ...Like the 'meat' (to me) of the poem; the milk is the past, the butter the future... how the present (the unmentioned 'cream') affects both our memory and our projections.
...and then some.
However, I really dig your interpretation. I think it's spot on (this is an abstract piece). And, now I can see it like that, too. (I was thinking about family, but more as a metaphor)
When I read poetry, from those who can't speak now for their words, I always wonder if the interpretation is correct. And I don't think it matters too much.
I'm glad you enjoyed it, thanks for coming aboard!
_____________
If I had it my way I'd be up on a mountain. Playing my guitar,
until my calluses grew calluses, my arse a chair and my smile into a halo
author commentswamp-witch
Mon, 2014-04-28 09:21
I often say "different"
as well, but I think the added syllable makes the line read more smoothly.
I really appreciate you taking the time to share your interpretation!
Critique, don't comment.
Community guidelines: https://www.neopoet.com/community-guidelines
To see our learning resources, click the "Curated Resources" link under the Resources tab in the top menu bar.
Eduardo Cruz
Fri, 2014-04-18 10:12
Bloodstone
This is deep and well thought out. I feel the dark and light all at once, to me it drives hard and fast with a kind of beat poem that I would hear in the late 60's in NYC. I love the reference to the Beatle song, which is well placed here.
"we eat it with strawberries.
For ever,"
Good job, I enjoyed this read.
Eddie C.
LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE
Bloodstone
Sun, 2014-04-27 20:39
Sho!
Like beat poetry! Not much to say to that actually. Oh, forever had to follow strawberries ;) was just nice it worked in my head and on the page.
Thank you for your kind compliments.
_____________
If I had it my way I'd be up on a mountain. Playing my guitar,
until my calluses grew calluses, my arse a chair and my smile into a halo
author commentIan.T
Fri, 2014-04-18 14:49
Blood stone
Now where have you been, one poem in two years, always remember all poets are missed, it leaves a gap in time on our walk together.
A good write that just needs a little tidy.
Great to have you back again and I hope to stay awhile there is much to talk of, Yours Ian.T
.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..
Bloodstone
Sun, 2014-04-27 21:05
Yenti!
Yes. 2 years! :O
I have missed the Neopoets much. Just haven't felt it, you know? I'm not making promises or forming expectations... here I am!
Yeah... let's see how long it takes for me to tidy this up! (I know it needs it.)
Thanks for the re-welcoming :)
_____________
If I had it my way I'd be up on a mountain. Playing my guitar,
until my calluses grew calluses, my arse a chair and my smile into a halo
author commentIan.T
Mon, 2014-04-28 04:05
Digit here
The reference to fingers just made me drool.
Then someone has to spoil it all and talk about family values.
They are damn lucky that they can refer to a family LOL.I shall have to resurrect my early diaries from England and you will realise how things got out of hand with so called families.
Enough of this just pass the finger bowl I is hungry,
Still if you must be abstract I will still read them as you seem to write very well..
Night Night sleep safe, Yours Digit
.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..