Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Dying thoughts

Vacancy approaches swiftly,
meanwhile, lightless beings call for me.
Whatever the reason,
I am supposed to be here.
What I am is complete
because of you.

Stories echo the previous,
Mentioning the sense we share.
Becoming complete,
is the only option.

Eternity seems so far away,
but none of what I say
will impact us.
Streets flow like veins,
each leading somewhere new.
Wherever this heart lies,
it is perished.

The end will be the beginning,
nothing here can explain what is there.
However, somehow you will know.

It will not be,
Never will we share, Or understand,
Why circumstance caused us.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
Take this poem wherever you want.
Editing stage: 

Comments

What I get out of this is the afterlife but that
last line or short stanza throws me, perhaps
I'm having a dense morning.

I liked the poem and thanks for sharing

Richard

This is either a love that you are holding or as Moonman says an afterlife thing.
There needs to be a good edit to clarify the theme, and to tidy the stanzas a little, there is a strand running through the piece but I will wait for you to sort out first,
Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.