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The Dreamer

I am a dreamer:
I put pen to paper and will it to happen;
it never does...
it never proves me right...

Emotions cloud my judgement,
Forgiveness a second nature:
Only pain is returned
my reflection is of a girl covered dirt...

My heart is sucked dry,
every emotion gone.
i am the shell of the girl that used to be,
a girl wishing on a star

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
It is a poem about someone who lives in their head and constantly believes in fairy tales and movies. The capital and small letters all contribute to how this person views herself...
Editing stage: 


Welcome to Neopoet. Your poetry is well written. Poetry about a dead loved one and one left behind to suffer the lost. The emotion is clear. I keep thinking of the young man mb and his young motherr suffering his lost. I see its the death of a girl and a girl now a shell of herself. A great poem. I love it.

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

Welcome to neopoet from me as well. This is a good write.


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