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Watching the waves come ashore
crashing into the beach as they roar
then retreating with a murmur and hiss
like the breaking of a passionate kiss.

I close my eyes and inhale ocean's brine
off of the steady seaward blowing wind
which entwines me like a soft creeping vine
or the smell of an exotic perfume's blend.

In response to the surf's rumbling bass
white wheeling gulls cry in the clear sky
above tiny plovers mincing daintily by
and pelicans gliding past in a brace.

You and I sitting in the hotel's faded beach chairs
cooled by the wind and an umbrella's shade
listening to music from a jukebox loudly played
from just beyond the boardwalk's promenade.

All of this recalled on a dark winter night
as we sit holding hands in the fire's warming light
while we plan to return if all works out right
and once again watch the waves crash to shore.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
Just playing around with differing rhyme patterns seeing if it matches the way memories often come randomly......stan
Editing stage: 


I think waves crashing into the shore is a wonderous sight.

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

Thank you for stopping by and taking time to comment.....stan

author comment

Good to read and note the rhyme.


raj (sublime_ocean)

Always good to see you've come by........stan

author comment
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