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Look at that old couple there
slowly strolling their own way
him with hardly any hair,
while hers has become streaked with gray
as younger crowds swirl all around

And while they walk their private path
they smile and recall days gone by
sometimes sharing a soft laugh
quickly absorbed by blue sky
as if there'd never been a sound

Watch close you'll see she's walking slow,
better to match his painfuk gait.
She could well leave him behind, though
she'd never walk ahead then wait
like master waiting on old hound

Off and on he seeks her hand.
Hers is soft, his calloused rough.
He doesn't need a wedding band
that long past promise is enough.
Her smile still makes his old heart pound.

She's the universe within his eyes
as they orbit in their own direction.
Her love for him has no disguise.
I see this in our own reflection
when mirrors chance to be around

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 


I liked the theme to this one something to look forward to lol...
Is there supposed to be a fifth line in Stanza two?? if so I have supplied one.
quickly absorbed by blue sky.
Joined in many thoughts, no sound..
Stanza Three:-
The end here doesn't seem to be a correct way of speaking ????
"like master waiting on old hound" ( His or An)??
You must write of some young things for a change try that memory of yours the long term one LOL, Yours Ian.T

There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

I must stop posting when I'm distracted. Yes, the line was missing but not because it hadn't been written lol. And I'm not completely pleased with the master and hound line either. I shall let it sit a day or 2 then see how it Should be written. Thanks for taking time to read and rub my distracted nose in that missing line............stan

author comment

Of my grandparents, even though my grandmother was widowed when I was a child, the pictures my mother kept resembled the happiest couple I had ever seen. My grandmother, upon being diagnosed with a rapidly progressing case of lymphoma, embraced her death because she saw it as being rejoined with the only love of her life. There was never another and she outlived my grandfather almost twenty years. She passed with no regrets and happily because she knew he was waiting. It is the kind of love we all seek at some point in our life, some more successful at achieving it than others. I was going to comment on the same things Ian did and since you both beat me to it, I will leave it at that. I love your writing about older, simpler times. Such a refreshing change from all the stuff going on in the world!!! Thank you again for more memories.

Keep Writing,

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

I am pleased to have brought back some pleasant memories for you. I figure there are plenty of people writing about the bad things going on so I usually try to write about something uplifting. (But I DO occasionally dip my toe into something contemporary and unpleasant. I appreciate your visit..............stan PS this poem's old couple is my child bride of almost 39 years and myself

author comment

39 yrs is a great accomplishment. My five yr anniversary is Wednesday but we aren't married. Still an accomplishment though. Wonderful poem.

Keep Writing,

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

Sorry for late reply. Internet has been down for a weeek. We all start with a few years together so you can also become part of an "old couple" if you and he just keep on keeping on lol...........stan

author comment
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