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COUNTING SPRINGS

There is no warmth outside today
when ice and sleet cover the ground
beneath a freezing sky of gray
whose cold winds set the pines to sway.
No hints of autumn are around.

For this is winter at its worst
no thoughts of spring come into mind
shoulders hunch, cold lips are pursed
I survey a landscape that seems cursed
a world described, at best, unkind.

And now I top a final hill,
more chore than joy found in this walk.
I'm lucky not taking a spill
tripped by vine beside the tiny rill
or by a gimpy knee's cold balk.

I look about the bleak surroundings
and think of how all seasons end
All winters always lead to springs
but as things always lead to things
one day I'll feel my last cold wind.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 

Comments

first impressions... Wow! On many levels... Liked the title and how you tied that in at the end. Having just come back from the cold Mid Western USA, I can actually relate to your piece very well and it conjured up those very images you so aptly describe in verse 1.
Good work!
Boni

Bonitaj

I actually wrote this in the depth of winter then couldn't come up with a title until today as the world is blossoming and life is thriving lol. I am pleased the secondary level is not too hard to find and doubly pleased that you think the title fits...............stan

author comment

you now seem to be taking ...
poetry classes

as titles you choose confuse
you said springs
I thought of a couch
how it would spring

then was amazed to see
the natural spring ,
no not of fountains rivers and streams
but those with which nature does spring

you are one great one
sometimes you count dawns ...
now springs
are you adept at seasonal abacus
my why do I have to fuss

you really meant the spring
after autumn
skip winter ....

loved

I expect I Need classes but I'll just keep on slowly soaking stuff up here lol. Bed springs huh? Well........we know where your mind stays lmao..............stan

author comment

you are one sport
I admire
Stan

loved

Its gotten colder the last few days Autumn is on her way, Now to your write there was a feeling of starkness that pervaded all through the poem and that ending is just perfect

well done

love JC x

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

Hopefully the starkness related to and reinforced the secondary level of this scribble. We have yet to go through "blackberry winter" here so not all cool weather is behind us. Appreciate the visit..........stan

author comment

This is a very well written poem that is reminiscent of Frost is some ways.

Joe

My mind's writing cheques my body can't cash.

Always good to see somebody new drop in. I just Wish something of mine will be recalled as long as any of Frost's poems lol................stan

author comment

Loved the feel of the cutting cold and the thought of Spring when it arrives Maybe??... Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

There comes an age when we all become aware that there's much more journey behind us than will ever be ahead of us. Kinda makes me more appreciative of the days or years left..............stan

author comment

The journey ahead can always be better than the one we have completed, it depends on the one that takes up the journey.
Yours As always Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Guess I was not clear that I was talking about Time. I approach 6 decades. It would be foolish to expect more than 2-3 more. But............with luck, the time I have left can be quality.........stan

author comment

I just reached three score and ten with a bonus year, so pretty please no more 2-3 more decades from sixty it makes me think I cant live for ever lol.
You enjoy every day young man, I married again at 61 I passed my driving test for a car at around 62 flew to Aussie from here 27 hours flying at 70 there is no end as yet I am looking for a sport to do like hang gliding but I hear that you have to let go of your Zimmer frame on take off lol, Yours as always Ian.T.

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

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