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Count Your Blessings

"Count your blessings", tells the saying,
think about the goods you're haying.
 Forsake your ills, forget them all 
 Your blessings make the grieves forestall.
Healthy paws enhance the swaying.

Money's worthless love is paying .
 Every little thing is weighing
with health and passion-overall.
Count your blessings.

Cheer your heart as faith is staying .
Boons alike the scent are spraying,
 just sing, your songs one day befall.
 The world shall tell and loud recall,
 money's worthless health is paying,
count your blessings. 

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

although they have the ‘ing’ ending rula, 'lying' and 'flying' don’t rhyme with 'saying', 'haying', ]staying', 'weighing'

and the scansion is out with

‘Live for ] mor -row, | let reg -| rets fall
and
‘Tell the | world, and | loud -ly | re -call
 

otherwise – great rondeau
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

A difficult form. Yes a challenging one (at least for me)  :)

I knew about these words -lying and flying - but couldn't think of anything else .May be later.

Those two lines:

 Tell the world, and loudly recall

I can edit to

the world shall tell and loud recall

and ..

Your blessings make the grieves forestall 

 

 

What do you think?

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

author comment

spraying and swaying ....good alternatives?

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

author comment

Does it read a little preachy?

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

author comment

i like it
and no - it doesn't sound 'preachy' - at least not to me'
- and great meter
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

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